The Sports Doc Chalk Talk

The reality is that very few athletes will go on to play college, much less professional sports, making the sport experience a very temporary life endeavor for the majority of young athletes (Sport Success 360).  Still, there are countless skills that can be used beyond sports that can help with personal development, academic pursuits, relationship building, and career success.  Unfortunately, far too many kids “bottle up” and compartmentalize their sport experiences, often distilling them down to fun childhood memories without ever identifying the utility of their sport skills beyond the baseball diamond, soccer field, or swimming pool.

Aside from the countless athletic transferable skills that can be used in every experience in life, youth sports also teaches kids how to work with others on a team, how to develop self-confidence and mental toughness, and how to win and lose with dignity and respect.  In fact, it could be argued that participating in sports may be the best life “primer” when it comes to adequately preparing youngsters for many of the future challenges in life that they will inevitably face.

When young people cull from their sport experiences and apply what they have learned toward academic challenges, difficulties with interpersonal relationships, and various other life difficulties, they may be surprised to learn about the utility of their sport skills.  In essence, the sport experience can serve as a vehicle for future life success.

Have fun this summer with youth sports, but don’t leave all the life lessons behind at the field after the game has ended.  Sit down and process the sport experience with your child, and work together to come up with creative ways he or she can use the lessons learned in sports to become a more successful person, and not just a better athlete.

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Learn more about our performance products for athletes, coaches and parents @ Advanced Human Performance Systems!

A common question I receive from youth sports parents is why some kids who display above-average athletic skills seem to struggle with focus and motivation.  Of course, there are many reasons why this may occur, but one reason that is usually overlooked is the interest level the kid has in playing sports.  In other words, some kids are good at sports, but simply don’t love playing them!

Admittedly, it’s difficult to accept that a talented young athlete might have little (if any) interest in playing a particular sport, but this actually happens more than you might believe.  Kids who are especially good at a sport, yet are indifferent about playing that sport, seem to present the most frustration for parents.  The faulty assumption some parents make, unfortunately, is that if the kid is good at playing sports, he must also love playing sports.

There are a number of reasons why an otherwise athletically talented kid might not like playing sports, including the following:

• For some, it simply doesn’t interest them – there’s nothing more to read into it than this.
• Some kids like playing games, but do not enjoy the commitment to practices, extra training, travel, and all the other responsibilities that often come with being an athlete – in fact, the child may even be experiencing sports burnout.
• Some kids feel as though the time commitment with sports take away time they might have devoted to other things, like academics, other activities, and social endeavors.
• Some kids don’t “connect” with their sports friends, and would rather spend their time with their friends who might not be involved in sports.
• Some kids do not enjoy all the intensity around sports these days – in other words, they like playing the sport, but don’t like how it feels like a job to them because of all the outside expectations by others.

Kids who don’t enjoy playing sports (even if they are good at them) are not good or bad, right or wrong.  Just like how we as adults like to do some things and don’t like others, kids are the same — and in some cases kids show a natural talent toward something, yet have little interest in the activity.

Of course, a little parental coaxing to get a kid to have more fun playing a sport isn’t a bad thing, but be careful to not push too hard, or to continue signing your kid up for sports if it’s clear he doesn’t want to play.  While it might not be the easiest thing to do, it’s almost always a better move to work with your child on future decisions rather than continue pushing him because he has an above-average athletic talent.

Sport Success 360 is a great tool to use when helping provide your child with the best sports experience possible – pick up your copy today!

www.drstankovich.com

Millions of kids each year compete in youth and interscholastic sports, and there are many different reasons why they elect to devote their time and energy to playing on a sports team (Sport Success 360).  For some, they play sports to be with their friends, while others enjoy the identity that comes with wearing a sports uniform and being part of a team.  The main reason kids play sports, however, is actually a pretty simple one – to have FUN!

Every research study I have ever read has clearly shown that the number one reason kids play sports is to have fun, and, as you might have guessed, the number one reason why kids voluntarily quit playing sports is when they no longer have fun.  Interestingly, while many adults might guess that “winning” is a big reason why kids play sports, in most cases it doesn’t even make the top ten lists of the polls surveyed.

As adults, we sometimes forget this most basic lesson about why kids play sports, and the result of our oversight can lead to a less-than-exciting experience for kids.  When adults make youth sports a very serious experience and at the cost of having fun, kids often lose their motivation for playing – and usually quit a lot sooner as a result.  Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to think about the many ways in which you as a parent or coach can make youth sports a fun (and meaningful) experience for kids:

• Bring your “A-Game” when it comes to attitude and emotion!  When you get excited about sports, kids will, too.
• Make sure to keep sports interesting and find ways to offer your positive reinforcement and hearty praise whenever possible — even if it’s just for effort.
• Balance instruction with fun, especially with the younger kids you coach.
• Laugh and have a sense of humor.
• Ask the team what things you can do that would make the sport experience exciting for them – you may not be able to do everything they suggest, but if there’s an idea or two you can make it happen it can really make a difference!
• Do fun team bonding things outside of sports if you can – like taking the team to a college or professional sports game, or establishing team dinners.
• Create a team identity the kids can be proud of, maybe a team nickname or a slogan that matches your team’s character.

Obviously there are many different things that you can do to make sports a fun experience for kids, so be sure and do your part and capitalize on the number one reason they play – TO HAVE FUN!!

The Parents Playbook is a great resource for helping kids maximize the sport experience – pick up your copy today!

www.drstankovich.com

If you have a son or daughter involved in youth sports, odds are you will probably be asked at some point about your level of interest in possibly becoming a head or assistant coach of your kid’s team.  For most parents, this question catches them off-guard, as they don’t often think about their child’s involvement in youth sports possibly including their role as the coach.  Unfortunately, there always seems to be a shortage of youth sport coaches, hence the reason for the likeliness of this future request (Sport Success 360).

So there you are, possibly going from the “parent in the stands” with all the answers to now being the coach — the person who is supposed to have all the answers (of course, it’s always easier to coach from the stands, right?!).  How do you lead kids with athletic skill development, physical fitness training, and mental toughness development?  Where’s the professional coaching help, athletic trainer, and sport psychologist when you need them?!

For those of you brave enough to take on the role of coach (and I hope many of you will), there are some things you may want to consider before you get started:

• Be objective. This is especially true when you have your child on the team.  For some parents, they are seemingly easier on their child and favor him or her more, while others parents actually become even tougher on their own child.  Being objective also means putting aside those great parent relationships you previously had in the stands and instead making talent evaluations based on the actual athletic abilities of the kids on the team.  While this may not sound too difficult, oftentimes it is — especially if you have become good friends with certain parents on the team whose kids aren’t the most talented.
• Prepare for the transition. While it might seem funny to think about the transition of going from “just another parent in the stands” to becoming the coach, most parents find this to be a lot more challenging than they originally thought.  Even in youth sports things can get real serious in a hurry, and the truth is some coaches get scapegoated as being “the bad guy” when they don’t start or play a kid in a game.  Prior to becoming a coach, it’s easy to sit back and second-guess the coach — but this all changes as soon as it’s you on the sideline making the calls.
• Prepare for the time commitment. One mistake parents often make when evaluating the coach is the amount of time and effort that goes into coaching (meaning they often overlook the demands).  Running practices, preparing for games, helping with fund raising, and communicating with parents are just a few examples that quickly reveal how demanding the job can be — and this is on top of being a parent and having a full-time job!
• Teaching skills – Many parents go into coaching because of need, meaning that the parent may not have experience in the sport that they are asked to coach.  What this means is that you may need to do your homework first and learn the skills necessary to help the kids on your team succeed (meaning even more of a time commitment).
• Make the experience fun. Studies consistently show that the #1 reason kids play sports is to have fun.  Unfortunately, with all the duties coaches are responsible for it can become very challenging to keep it fun at all times.  In fact, some parents who go into coaching quickly find out that not only is the job of being a coach tougher than expected, it can also lead to burnout if a healthy and balanced lifestyle is not kept in place.

While being a coach is not always an easy endeavor, it can be a very fun and meaningful one – for both the coach, as well as all the kids on the team.  Like everything else, being prepared and keeping a good, positive attitude can really help ward off the stress that comes with coaching.

For more information on athletic performance enhancement products, including programming for coaches, be sure to check out the Advanced Human Performance Systems website!

www.drstankovich.com

Being a youth or interscholastic coach can be an awesome experience filled with countless exciting life experiences, including building healthy relationship with kids, pursuing team championships, and coming together as a team when faced with stress, adversity, and dealing with losses (Sport Success 360).  Unfortunately, for some coaches, the experience quickly becomes overwhelming as they become an unfortunate victim to things like their own perfectionism and control, inability to work with kids, and unwillingness to build relationships with parents.

Coaching, like most things in life, is really what you make of it. Successful coaches have realistic personal expectations and team goals, and make sure to prioritize their own health and family before their role as a coach. Of course, there’s more to it than just those simple reminders, including a few more ideas to consider below:

• Make downtime a priority. Today, even youth and interscholastic coaches are at-risk for burnout as it is becoming commonplace to see these coaches put in unbelievable amounts of time into their coaching.  Similar to college and pro coaches, amateur coaches sometimes go too hard for too long, resulting in a host of physical, emotional, and social problems.  Consequently, it is vitally important to keep a schedule that allows you to take breaks and get away when needed.  Sure, this may not be easy to do, but if you don’t do it not only will coaching soon become a lot less fun, but your team will also likely suffer as a result.
• Keep up with training. There are so many changes in youth sports today and many leading sport psychologists, sport educators, and sports medicine personnel have developed important educational training to help meet these needs.  While some leagues and states require specific training, it is important to consider going above the minimum in order to stay abreast of emerging trends – like sports burnout.  Unfortunately, some coaches only do the minimum when it comes to training, and view anything above that as “punitive” rather than educational.
• Teach kids about athletic transferable skills. I talk about these skills a lot, and that’s because they are the essence of the youth sport experience!  Be sure the kids you coach do not minimize the value of the skills they learn in sports, nor falsely assume that all kids have learned the same skills.  Be sure to talk regularly about how things like mental toughness, confidence, discipline, and resiliency are not only skills for sport success, but also life success.
• Involve parents. Quite often the #1 complaint I hear from coaches is “parents.”  The main reason coaches feel this way has to do with how parents feel their child should be used compared to how the coach is actually using the child.  The disconnect seems to exist on every youth and interscholastic sports team to some extent, making it an issue coaches need to be proactive with when deciding upon their personal philosophy.  Successful coaches often have pre-season meetings to kick off the start of the season, and talk about their coaching philosophy and how parents can be a positive and active part of the team.  Some coaches even set up ways for parents to ask constructive questions about their child and how he/she can improve, and possibly even earn more playing time in the future.  Regardless of how you develop your philosophy, one thing is certain — when parents feel disconnected and under-appreciated, they often let their feelings be known, which can in turn make for a very long season.
• Emphasize the positives!!!! High fives, emphatic praise, and a general positive attitude can go a long, long way when it comes to sports.  Choose your daily attitude and be sure to “catch” kids doing things right, especially when they give great effort (even if the results aren’t always great).

For more information about youth and interscholastic coaching success, check out Sport Success 360 or visit Advanced Human Performance Systems today!

www.drstankovich.com

The following article is a piece I wrote for the National Federation of High Schools (NFHS) High School Today magazine in 2010:

When it comes to coaching kids, developing a delicate balance of being coach, teacher, and friend can be very challenging, to say the least.  In an ideal situation, successful coaches develop and maintain appropriate boundaries and guidelines within each role, leading to positive holistic development and growth for all student athletes on the team.  Successful coaches continuously develop a philosophy and personal style that enable them to do the following things: Instruct technical athletic skills, teach life skills from athletic experiences that can be applied to school and future careers, and occasionally even wear the hat of “friend” when student athletes need a place to turn in times of need.  Some coaches seem to naturally develop this healthy balance, while other coaches struggle wearing all three hats – and, in worst-case scenarios, step over the integrity line and abuse coach-student athlete boundaries.

Unfortunately, the issue of establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries between coaches and student athletes is a growing concern in America today, as cases of inappropriate relationships involving alcohol, drugs, and sexual activity continue to increase annually.  The following are tips and insights that responsible coaches use to ensure their behaviors and relationships are appropriate.

• Responsible coaches always keep in mind the tremendous amount of trust that has been put on them.  In many instances, the role a coach plays in a young person’s life is almost as important as a parent (and in some instances the coach may even become a “pseudo-parent”).  The trust kids have in a coach is a very special thing, and the relationship coaches develop with kids can lead to either a prosperous, healthy personal growth experience through sport participation or a lifetime of painful memories due to short-sighted thinking and inappropriate and potentially illegal behaviors.
• Since most coaches operate autonomously (meaning they act on their own and are guided by their own thinking and behaviors), responsible coaches know that it is vitally important to police their own behaviors.  If something doesn’t feel right (i.e. going to a student athlete’s party, or exchanging messages discretely via email or text messaging), they stop the behavior and take time to think about the possible consequences of their actions.  Not only may the behavior be inappropriate, it may even be illegal; that’s why it is so important to think about their actions.
• The coach is always in an adversarial relationship with his or her student athletes, and also in a position of tremendous power.  Responsible coaches do not take this lightly.  Kids on the team will often do whatever the coach says they should do, even if they feel uncomfortable or know that what is being asked of them doesn’t feel right.  Sadly, some irresponsible coaches take advantage of this coercive dynamic and abuse the power of being a coach.  In these instances, many terrible things can occur, including the loss of employment as a coach, a child left with terrible emotional scarring, and possibly even incarceration if the activities are illegal.
• While the age of consent varies from state-to-state, responsible coaches know that one thing is certain: It is never appropriate to develop a sexual relationship with a student athlete (even if he/she is above the age of consent).  The reason for this is that the relationship coaches build with student athletes is predicated on trust, and the adult figure must always maintain that trust under all circumstances.  Good coaches realize that it is ultimately their responsibility, not the child’s, to ensure that an inappropriate relationship doesn’t develop.  Developing a dual-relationship (i.e. being the coach and also carrying on a sexual relationship with a student athlete) is never appropriate, and using the excuse that “the student athlete caused this to happen” is also unacceptable.
• A growing concern, and often an antecedent condition when it comes to inappropriate relationships between coaches and student athletes, is the use (and abuse) of internet social networking pages.  Responsible coaches know how to effectively create and monitor their social networking pages (i.e. MySpace, Facebook).  They only display appropriate pictures and content, and they exclude sexual innuendo, coarse language, and pictures that include sexual and/or drug and alcohol themes.  Good coaches regularly examine their pages to make sure the content is appropriate, and that it is suitable for student athletes who may visit their sites.
• Responsible coaches know that social networking pages often create depersonalized communication between people.  Emailing, instant messaging, and texting are examples of casual communication that can quickly become a “slippery slope” when it comes to inappropriate relationships developing.  Good coaches steer clear of communication that can be misinterpreted as emotional or sexually-oriented.  Avoiding this type of communication is another way responsible coaches avoid any inappropriate behavior.
• Responsible coaches discuss their communication style early and often with both parents and student athletes, making sure to convey how they prefer to communicate (i.e. email, phone, or in-person), as well as when they available to communicate.  They know that it is important to establish these guidelines so that fewer impromptu meetings occur – making inappropriate relationships less likely to occur as well.
• Responsible coaches are sure to always use appropriate language when working with kids.  They minimize the use of coarse, vulgar, and profane language, and they do not make comments that could be viewed as racist, sexist, or unfairly biased.  These coaches realize that unprofessional language can lead to loose, casual relationships developing, which can later lead to a deterioration of the coach-student athlete dynamic, often contributing to inappropriate coach-student athlete relationships.
• Responsible coaches meet with kids at appropriate times and places, steering away from questionable places (i.e. casually outside of school) and instead use more appropriate locations (i.e. a school office).  Additionally, they typically meet with kids while having other adults around, and keep the door of the office open whenever possible.  Obviously, meeting with student athletes in private places, especially late after school, is never a wise decision and should be avoided whenever possible.

When good coaches find themselves in awkward positions with student athletes, they know how important it is to think and act responsibly.  Remember, it is always the coach’s responsibility to act like an adult at all times and prevent inappropriate relationships from occurring.  The way coaches conduct themselves, their level of professionalism, and the examples they set for kids is very important and cannot be overstated.

For more information about building healthy and successful relationships with young athletes, check out Sport Success 360.

www.drstankovich.com