The Sports Doc Chalk Talk

Players don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care

That quote is one that has been around for a long time, although the author of it is in question (I have seen it attributed to a number of different people).  Regardless of who first coined the phrase, it’s one that every coach should think about when developing their own unique coaching philosophy (Sport Success 360).  Borrowing from the field of sport psychology, it’s clear that when players feel respected they are far more apt to pay attention to the coach, and they increase their motivation and mental toughness as a result.

Think about it for a moment – people care a lot less about your knowledge in most cases than they do your authenticity and true intentions. Similar to how we often hear the music before we take in the lyrics of a song, human beings more quickly “tune in” to see if you have their better interest in mind before they make an appraisal of your knowledge base.

Some coaches are masterminds of the X’s and O’s, but don’t seem to “connect” with their players.  Other coaches, however, might be light on the strategies of coaching, but terrific at building strong relationships with players on the team – often propelling them to believe in themselves and reach new athletic heights as a result.

How a coach builds rapport with his players is a unique experience, but if he has genuine and true intentions the steps needed to do this really don’t need to be scripted.  What I mean by this is that as human beings, it seems we have a built-in homing device when it comes insincere communication.  With that said, coaches who truly believe in their players don’t really have to do anything except be their genuine, caring selves.

Developing plays and running practice drills are certainly important, but perhaps the biggest job for any coach is to build the trust necessary for his players to believe in him, and more importantly, through that coach-player relationship come to believe in themselves. It is in these moments where players will push out another set in the weight room, run another lap on the track, and study a few more minutes of film.  Players who believe in their coach increase personal motivation, have more fun playing, and develop mental toughness for when times are tough.

Think about the significance of developing strong interpersonal relationships with the players you coach and watch how your team blossoms – if you need some help, check out our popular “Peak Performance for Coaches”audio pro0gram!

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One of the most challenging duties a coach is faced with is keeping his team upbeat, positive, motivated, and optimistic after losing a game (or enduring a losing streak).  Coaching is a lot easier when the team is winning, but what about the times where the team is dejected, frustrated, and with little confidence for the future (Sport Success 360)?  It is in these moments that the overall success of a coach is often measured.

I have always liked the saying “forewarned is forearmed,” with the implication that if we have a good idea of what is ahead we can responsibly prepare for the experience.  In sports, it is inevitable that you will lose, so it is important for coaches to think ahead about the strategies that might be considered when dealing with dejected players who seem to have lost their hope and confidence for future team success.  By spending a few minutes thinking ahead of time how to handle these types of situations, the likelihood for a faster bounce-back increases dramatically – as does the team’s resiliency and chances for future success.

As with most things in life, the way a coach handles defeat with his team is about as unique as each coach and his players.  Still, there are a few important aspects of team dynamics as they relate to future team success that are worth considering, including the following:

• After a loss one of the most important things a coach can do is to emphasize effort (assuming the team didn’t quit).  By positively reinforcing effort, you will essentially be shaping future behaviors that, in all likelihood, will lead to future success.
• Re-frame the experience. It goes without saying that losing is never fun, but often when we lose in life we tend to make the experience more catastrophic than is necessary (or accurate).  Losing a big game can be deflating, but is it the end of the world?  Are there experiences to build on, or ways to use the experience to come back stronger later in the season?  If it is an early-season loss, how can you keep it in perspective so that the rest of the season isn’t lost?
• Even in losses, there are always important points to build on for the future. What did the team do right?  Were there specific plays that went well, or periods in the game where you were more competitive?  Great coaches find those moments and use them to build positive future scaffolding to use to improve the team as the season wears on over time.
• Teach the team to develop a short memory for losing. Great athletes have incredibly short memories, and instead channel their focus and motivation toward the next practice, training session, or game.  This is not something they are “born with,” but instead a skill they have developed over time that has allowed them to learn from their previous frustrations, adversities, and failures.
• Ask the team for their input. Authoritarian coaches out there may not like to hear this, but when people (in this case, the team) are solicited and encouraged to share their thoughts and perspectives in a democratic-type manner, they often begin to take even more ownership of their experience (and play harder as a result).  This perceived “loss of power” does not imply that the coach should sit back and allow the team to take over in the film room or when looking at ways for improving in the future, but instead suggests that coaches find a delicate balance between their own instruction and soliciting input from the team.  How could we have done that better?  What play might have been more effective in that situation?  Ask the team and listen closely – you might be surprised at what you learn!

To learn more about effective strategies for coaching kids, check out our popular audio Peak Performance for Youth Sport Coaches

www.drstankovich.com

Being a youth or interscholastic coach can be an awesome experience filled with countless exciting life experiences, including building healthy relationship with kids, pursuing team championships, and coming together as a team when faced with stress, adversity, and dealing with losses (Sport Success 360).  Unfortunately, for some coaches, the experience quickly becomes overwhelming as they become an unfortunate victim to things like their own perfectionism and control, inability to work with kids, and unwillingness to build relationships with parents.

Coaching, like most things in life, is really what you make of it. Successful coaches have realistic personal expectations and team goals, and make sure to prioritize their own health and family before their role as a coach. Of course, there’s more to it than just those simple reminders, including a few more ideas to consider below:

• Make downtime a priority. Today, even youth and interscholastic coaches are at-risk for burnout as it is becoming commonplace to see these coaches put in unbelievable amounts of time into their coaching.  Similar to college and pro coaches, amateur coaches sometimes go too hard for too long, resulting in a host of physical, emotional, and social problems.  Consequently, it is vitally important to keep a schedule that allows you to take breaks and get away when needed.  Sure, this may not be easy to do, but if you don’t do it not only will coaching soon become a lot less fun, but your team will also likely suffer as a result.
• Keep up with training. There are so many changes in youth sports today and many leading sport psychologists, sport educators, and sports medicine personnel have developed important educational training to help meet these needs.  While some leagues and states require specific training, it is important to consider going above the minimum in order to stay abreast of emerging trends – like sports burnout.  Unfortunately, some coaches only do the minimum when it comes to training, and view anything above that as “punitive” rather than educational.
• Teach kids about athletic transferable skills. I talk about these skills a lot, and that’s because they are the essence of the youth sport experience!  Be sure the kids you coach do not minimize the value of the skills they learn in sports, nor falsely assume that all kids have learned the same skills.  Be sure to talk regularly about how things like mental toughness, confidence, discipline, and resiliency are not only skills for sport success, but also life success.
• Involve parents. Quite often the #1 complaint I hear from coaches is “parents.”  The main reason coaches feel this way has to do with how parents feel their child should be used compared to how the coach is actually using the child.  The disconnect seems to exist on every youth and interscholastic sports team to some extent, making it an issue coaches need to be proactive with when deciding upon their personal philosophy.  Successful coaches often have pre-season meetings to kick off the start of the season, and talk about their coaching philosophy and how parents can be a positive and active part of the team.  Some coaches even set up ways for parents to ask constructive questions about their child and how he/she can improve, and possibly even earn more playing time in the future.  Regardless of how you develop your philosophy, one thing is certain — when parents feel disconnected and under-appreciated, they often let their feelings be known, which can in turn make for a very long season.
• Emphasize the positives!!!! High fives, emphatic praise, and a general positive attitude can go a long, long way when it comes to sports.  Choose your daily attitude and be sure to “catch” kids doing things right, especially when they give great effort (even if the results aren’t always great).

For more information about youth and interscholastic coaching success, check out Sport Success 360 or visit Advanced Human Performance Systems today!

www.drstankovich.com

My Game My Life, a sport educational curriculum designed to help student athletes become better role models and leaders in their schools and communities, is now available in DVD format designed to help Athletic Directors, league operators, and any other school personnel implement a student athlete leadership program in their school.  You can learn more about My Game My Life, including our new DVD, by visiting www.mygamemylife.com

Focus – Believe – Commit – Achieve are the basic tenants of My Game My Life, and the program is designed to help kids identify and use athletic transferable skills to become better atheltes, students, and members of society.

www.drstankovich.com

For many years I have talked openly about the importance of personal development through boys and girls sports participation — not just for better on-field success, but better life success (The Parents Playbook).  Unfortunately, far too many young athletes tend to forget or overlook all the great life lessons they have been taught through sports when they eventually retire (whether it’s after little league, pop warner, varsity sports, or even pro sports).  Athletic transferable skills are invaluable across settings, and there are countless “teachable moments” parents can use in sports that can be maximized in other settings as well (like in the classroom).  The key is that parents must invest in sports role modeling in order for sports to have the best impact on their children.The reality is that most young athletes won’t have the chance to play professional sports (or even college sports for that matter).  Still, the sports setting is an invaluable and fertile ground for learning, developing, and maximizing human potential!

www.drstankovich.com

In the early 1990’s, Charles Barkley starred in the now famous “I am not a role model” Nike commercial, emphasizing that athletes like himself got paid to dunk basketballs, not “raise your kids.” The point of the ad was to remind people that parents – not athletes – are the true role models, and that too many people had it reversed, erroneously ascribing the “role model” status to athletes who never asked to be in such a position.The Barkley ad created quite a stir at the time, and even twenty years later the issue of athletes being role models is still hotly debated. While everyone will agree that parents are role models to their children, the question around athletes as role models still remains disputed by many people.The good news is that while Barkley took the position of role modeling as a burden and unwanted responsibility (at least in the Nike ad), there are countless athletes of all ages today who want to be role models to others, and see the opportunity as a blessing rather than a curse.Unfortunately, today’s young athletes are more challenged than ever in finding positive role models to follow. The media focuses the bulk of it’s reporting on stories of athletes getting into trouble compared to athletes engaging in positive, pro-social endeavors in local schools, recreation leagues, and communities.In addition to the challenges student athletes have in finding positive athletic role models, the issue is further compounded in that young athletes are rarely ever formally taught the skills needed to become effective role models and leaders themselves – even though they are automatically ascribed this status as student athletes in their respective schools. The result of the current paradigm we are witnessing is a growing number of student athletes who are regularly fed negative stories about athletes in the news, while never being taught the skills pertaining to how to become successful role models.School and community culture and climate impactWhen you think about it, student athletes may be the single most influential agent of change when it comes to school climate and culture. In addition to the obvious attention school sports receive, student athletes are regularly noticed in school as the ambassadors for the community at-large. Student athletes regularly wear school gear and colors, and also receive local media attention pertaining to the success of their teams. In fact, there is not another student prototype in schools today that garners this kind of recognition and attention, providing a terrific opportunity for student athletes to use the opportunity of being a role model in many terrific ways.Social scientists have studied the impact of sports teams on their respective communities, and as it might be expected, the connection is often very strong. Communities with successful school programs take pride in their accomplishments, and often the coaches and student athletes are given special attention and privileges for their on-field success. When the local teams win, the community refers to them as “we,” and when the team loses, fans distance themselves by using the word “they” in describing the loss.Student athletes are very visible and decorated, often wearing team gear and lettermen’s jackets. Non-athletes know who they are, even if they are not sports fans themselves. As a result of this recognition, the climate and culture of schools are dramatically impacted by what student athletes do off the field. Outside of school, communities are also impacted, as the beat of the town often stays in synchrony with the level of success of their local sports teams – they are happy when teams are winning and somber when they are losing.Captains Leadership Summit Series (My Game My Life educational curriculum)In an attempt to address the current chasm that exists between what is commonly expected from student athletes pertaining to role modeling – and the dearth of training that exists in helping student athletes actually learn how to become an effective role model, a new leadership model has been created. The Captains Leadership Summit Series (CLSS) was developed as a model to work from when developing role modeling programs for student athletes. The CLSS was built from the My Game My Life (http://www.mygamemylife.com/) educational curriculum that relies heavily on life skills, with a special emphasis on athletic transferable skills. The basic tenants of My Game My Life include “Focus, Believe, Commit, Achieve,” a philosophy that helps student athletes on and off the field by reminding them of the importance of setting specific goals, believing in them, committing to reaching the goals, and using the achievement as a way to role model pro-social skills to others. Components of CLSS that have been found to be effective in helping student athletes learn about and embrace their status of role models include the following:> Select strong potential leaders from school teams. Since it is nearly impossible for most schools to offer leadership programming to all student athletes due to logistics and time conflicts, identifying a smaller, more manageable core group of kids that have been pre-selected by their coaches as visible leaders to their peers and teammates appears to be the most effective approach. The goal is to teach and empower this select group about the importance of leadership, and to, in turn, positively impact their fellow student athletes in school.> Year-long program. Offering student athletes a leadership program that goes throughout the year has been found to be more effective than simply conducting a one-time meeting. As the cohort works together throughout the school year, a unique pride and identity will likely develop, helping kids develop self-confidence in their abilities to serve as responsible ambassadors for their teams, the school, and the community at-large.> Leadership theory and applications. Long gone are the days where social scientists thought leadership was a trait-based construct (meaning you were either born to be an effective leader or you weren’t). Instead, experts now agree leadership skills can be learned, and the body of scientific literature in the field of leadership studies continues to grow as a result. Kids can benefit by learning about leadership theory, as well as commonly accepted leadership applications, like learning the importance of communication skills and conflict resolution strategies.> Applied case studies and focus group problem solving. Creating real-life scenarios that kids will likely experience in their roles as student athletes can serve as a future inoculation for when the events really occur. Specifically, helping student athletes work through issues pertaining to parties and drinking, academic ineligibility concerns, and bouncing back from other team concerns will help prepare them for these challenges when they eventually happen in the future.> Networking with each other. Student athletes also benefit from working together in small teams in that they become more familiar and comfortable with one another, leading to better interpersonal relationships and likelihood of working together in the future when problems arise. Not all student athletes know one another very well, so the concept of networking together is an important component needed when working to improve school culture and climate.> Focus on helping the next generation of student athletes. An emphasis on teaching student athletes to reach out and help make younger student athletes feel welcome can dramatically improve the athletic program and entire school at-large. More experienced student athletes can teach younger student athletes about school traditions and expectations, as well and give them the confidence that they will one day successfully lead the school when their time comes.> Homework. After each leadership meeting, it is important to assign student athletes homework so that they will continue to think about the importance of leadership in the time between meetings. The homework does not need to be difficult, but it should be specific. Prompting kids to do targeted things like offering rides to younger teammates, or create school/community fundraisers, are examples of assignments that can be measured and evaluated.Schools that regularly display excellence (on and off the field) almost always establish this type of culture through dedicated efforts, not by chance. Empowering student athletes to embrace their status as “role models” can greatly contribute to school success, and this can be achieved by teaching the importance of effective leadership through responsible actions, communication skills, integrity, discipline, and the willingness to work toward resolving conflicts when they arise.To learn more about The Captains Leadership Summit Series, and how it can be started at your school, please contact me at chris@drstankovich.com Dr. Chris Stankovich is a sports performance counselor and educator and an advocate for positive youth sport development. For more information on educational products and seminars, please visit www.drstankovich.com.