The Sports Doc Chalk Talk

Stress that occurs very quickly and prompts us to respond in an emergency-like fashion (like moving out of the way of an oncoming car) is often referred to as burst stress. Police officers, firefighters, and paramedics deal with burst stress everyday, as it is not uncommon for these people to receive emergency phone calls and quickly go from 0-100 MPH on the adrenaline scale.  Granted, athletes do not usually deal with burst stress anxiety in the same, life threatening ways as helping professionals do, but athletes do regularly deal with a wide range of stressors and emotional responses.  Athletes are especially at-risk for burst stress in fast-paced, tempo-changing sports, as well as those pressure moments in all sports when the outcome of a game hangs in the balance (Sport Success 360).

Being able to control and moderate arousal (or human energy) is a very important skill according to sport psychology research, and it is often what allows people to stay cool, calm, and collected while in the middle of otherwise stressful situations (like a police officer responding to a crime, or an athlete keeping his cool after receiving a cheap shot from an opponent).  As with most things in life, some people do a good job adjusting their focus and arousal appropriately (mental toughness), while others struggle trying to stay relaxed and focused when things become chaotic.  In sports, athletes who master mental toughness and keep it together in pressure situations are known as “clutch players,” while athletes who succumb to the pressure they experience are known as “chokers.”

If your son or daughter experiences great distress while trying to maintain focus, concentration, and calmness during pressure situations, consider the following ideas that can help:

• First, talk openly about things like stress and pressure – as well as provide examples of people (maybe even yourself) who have failed under these conditions.  Normalizing the fact that people commonly make mistakes and aren’t always perfect will help your child become more understanding and tolerant of himself when he, too, makes a mistake in a game.
• Practice stressful situations whenever you can.  For example, if you are working with your child trying to improve athletic skills, be sure to throw in surprise situations and gauge how she reacts.  Praise her hard effort and success, and shape her failures so that she can learn and improve the next time she experiences the situation.
• Use stress inoculation techniques.  Talk to your child about the reality that there will be bad games, errors, mistakes, and failure to be experienced while playing sports.  When these situations occur, teach your child how to improve his mental toughness by responding to the mistake with positive thinking and problem solving skills.  Remember, it’s not how many times we fall down, but how many times we get up.
• Dismiss the notion that only some people are gifted enough to handle pressure, while others have no control over it.  It is a myth that athletes who perform well in the clutch were “born that way,” and that other athletes can never improve in mental toughness because they weren’t born with the DNA to succeed in pressure situations.  Self-fulfilling prophecies can be quickly developed when young athletes think they “can’t” and well as they “can.”

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I have been involved with many discussions this week around Ron Artest, and the overall big picture of sports aggression.  As I wrote about earlier this week, it’s not the emotion that gets players in trouble, but how they manifest their energy.  When players allow their emotions to take the form of negative actions (like hitting another player), bad things happen.  On the other hand, when athletes learn how to more effectively channel their emotions into positive and facilitative actions, good things almost always follow.

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Learn more about mental toughness and how it can help athletes improve their focus, concentration, motivation, and resiliency – check out Mind of Steel today!

While watching Barry Melrose talk about the Penguins – Flyers NHL playoff match-up yesterday, he used the expression “will beats skill” when describing Philadelphia’s surprising 3-0 playoff lead over Pittsburgh.  While the Penguins were the heavy favorite going into the series, it is the Flyers — playing with more heart and intensity — who are about to advance to the next round of the NHL playoffs.

Breaking down the Melrose expression, he is really talking about mental toughness and the degree in which players display confidence, focus, motivation, intensity, and the ability to develop the resiliency needed to “play up” and beat an opponent that seems to be the better team (Pittsburgh).  In sports, it is often “who wants it more” that ends up beating otherwise better talented athletes and teams.

While most coaches and athletes agree that “will beats skill” when it comes to the outcome of many sporting events, it’s still a tough sell — especially when trying to convince kids that they can beat state-caliber teams and athletes.  In these instances, kids are so intimidated that they either forget (or don’t believe) that their mental toughness can make a huge difference in the outcome of a game, and often the result of the game is fairly predictable (the more skilled athlete/team wins).

Great coaches and parents are able to connect with kids and “sell” the message that will beats skill, and when this occurs the athlete begins to “play to win” as opposed to “playing to avoid losing.”  When kids buy-in to this approach, they begin to pay more attention to positive cues (the good block, tackle, or pitch they just made), while overlooking or dismissing negative cues (their missed tackle, strike out, etc.).  What we pay attention to in life in large part dictates what we will do next — play harder or give up.

Will, motivation, perseverance, and resiliency are all things we can develop, and are independent traits from our physical abilities.  Do your part to “sell” this message to a young person today!

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Increasingly more athletes are getting tattooed these days – sometimes as early as high school (or even Jr. High).  While it wasn’t that long ago that tattoos were a rarity to see in sports (just watch NBA clips from the ’80′s), nowadays you are seemingly in the minority if you don’t have any ink.  It’s funny, but if you want to be noticed these days you will likely get more attention for not having tattoos than if you do choose to get one, ironically.

Of course, it is to each individual what he or she wants to do with their body, and tattoos are not “right” or “wrong” per se. Tattoos are, however, very permanent and it is from this perspective that I would like to offer a few thoughts to young athletes thinking they might want to start working on their “sleeve” this weekend:

• Take a look back at pictures of yourself from just a few years ago.  Do you laugh at the hideous shirt you wore, and do you cringe at the awful haircut you used to have?  Fortunately, those are days of the past and short of a “friend” playing a joke and posting those pics on Facebook at your expense, you can probably lock them up in a drawer and prevent the world from seeing the old you.  The point here is that what people like one day can end up being something they don’t like later on in life — with tattoos, you don’t get a “do-over,” and it’s quite likely that what you think is cool today might be something you hate later (like that haircut in 9th grade).
• Remember, you are not LeBron James, Dennis Rodman, David Beckham, or even Lil’ Wayne.  People at the top of their craft have a lot more latitude when it comes to what they can get away with — for the rest of us, making permanent decisions like getting a tattoo on your neck can lead to some very negative consequences down the road – like at a job interview.
• Regardless of what anyone says, people get tattoos for attention (meaning you didn’t get that dragon tattoo down your arm for people not to look).  There’s nothing wrong with seeking the attention of others, as we do it all the time – the question is can you still get the attention you seek without tatting up your body for life?  Perhaps a new haircut, different clothes, or even a more affable smile and personality might get you all the attention you could ever ask for!

Again, tattoos are not bad, and there’s nothing wrong with those people who choose to decorate their body with them.  The problem, however, is that many people make decisions about tattoos without much forethought, and only later do they come to realize the full cost of their short-sighted decision.  Don’t believe me?  Ask people over the age of 40 how many of them still feel a connection to their tattoo.  You might be surprised to learn how their feelings have changed, yet the permanent markings on their body still remain.  Short of spending thousands of dollars for laser tattoo removal, many of these folks are stuck with a branding that they feel no longer represents who they are — similar to that really ugly outfit they wore back in high school.

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A common question I receive from youth sports parents is why some kids who display above-average athletic skills seem to struggle with focus and motivation.  Of course, there are many reasons why this may occur, but one reason that is usually overlooked is the interest level the kid has in playing sports.  In other words, some kids are good at sports, but simply don’t love playing them!

Admittedly, it’s difficult to accept that a talented young athlete might have little (if any) interest in playing a particular sport, but this actually happens more than you might believe.  Kids who are especially good at a sport, yet are indifferent about playing that sport, seem to present the most frustration for parents.  The faulty assumption some parents make, unfortunately, is that if the kid is good at playing sports, he must also love playing sports.

There are a number of reasons why an otherwise athletically talented kid might not like playing sports, including the following:

• For some, it simply doesn’t interest them – there’s nothing more to read into it than this.
• Some kids like playing games, but do not enjoy the commitment to practices, extra training, travel, and all the other responsibilities that often come with being an athlete – in fact, the child may even be experiencing sports burnout.
• Some kids feel as though the time commitment with sports take away time they might have devoted to other things, like academics, other activities, and social endeavors.
• Some kids don’t “connect” with their sports friends, and would rather spend their time with their friends who might not be involved in sports.
• Some kids do not enjoy all the intensity around sports these days – in other words, they like playing the sport, but don’t like how it feels like a job to them because of all the outside expectations by others.

Kids who don’t enjoy playing sports (even if they are good at them) are not good or bad, right or wrong.  Just like how we as adults like to do some things and don’t like others, kids are the same — and in some cases kids show a natural talent toward something, yet have little interest in the activity.

Of course, a little parental coaxing to get a kid to have more fun playing a sport isn’t a bad thing, but be careful to not push too hard, or to continue signing your kid up for sports if it’s clear he doesn’t want to play.  While it might not be the easiest thing to do, it’s almost always a better move to work with your child on future decisions rather than continue pushing him because he has an above-average athletic talent.

Sport Success 360 is a great tool to use when helping provide your child with the best sports experience possible – pick up your copy today!

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Apparently the NCAA is going to finally come around to paying “amateur” athletes in the future, though the initial proposal of providing an additional $2000 a year was shot down by NCAA Board of Directors on Saturday.  There no longer appears to be much dispute about student athletes earning some extra money for their efforts, but it appears as though there are many details that still need to be worked out before gaining the needed consensus of the board to approve the change.

Amateur Athletes?

It’s 2012, and at this point it would be hard to find many fans out there today who would call today’s college football and basketball student athletes “amateur.”  While the debate about paying student athletes still exists, it’s not nearly what it once was as the tens of millions of dollars pours in to schools annually as a result of their revenue-generating sports.  I know in my travels I haven’t met too many people who don’t believe these student athletes deserve something beyond their education as a return for their efforts.

The money in college football, as an example, has skyrocketed in recent years as witnessed by recent unprecedented bowl payouts.  Accordingly, the model of amateur sports we once previously knew has long become antiquated, as evidenced by the huge money big colleges today commonly pour into their athletic facilities and coaching staffs. The student athletes are, ironically, the reason why colleges are making these big dollars (in other words they are the product), yet as of today are still left with the short end of the stick.  Their coaches are multi-millionaires based on student athlete efforts, yet in return the student athletes are awarded the ability to take classes toward a college degree (important, yes, but hardly anywhere close to a fair trade, or what business folks call “market value”).

The NCAA has watched all this unfold, and obviously feels somewhat uncomfortable about how disproportionate this model has become (heavily in favor of the colleges).  While the colleges continue to earn money at astronomical rates, the student athletes on the front line actually earning the money for the colleges continue to receive a reduced (or free) course load of classes as trade.  Evidently, even the NCAA can no longer hide behind this thin veil of what has become, well, almost comical when you think about it.

The New Proposal

In response to this glaring problem, the NCAA put forth its first proposal of paying student athletes an additional $2000 a year.  At first glance, some would say this is a responsible move by the NCAA (even though it was initially rejected), but in this crazy college sports world where head coaches routinely make many times the amount of salaries as their bosses (college presidents) this proposal seems to fall terribly short upon closer inspection.

A growing number of NCAA football and basketball coaches are now earning millions (plural) of dollars per season — and in some cases even assistant coaches are making hundreds of thousands of dollars per year.  Still, even if the $2000 stipend would have been approved, it would have resulted in the student athletes making a mere additional $5.47 a day. Apparently, the scholarship the student athlete receives is supposed to make up the difference.

I am a huge proponent of education and do acknowledge that receiving a full scholarship for playing sports certainly has great potential value.  Still, it just doesn’t feel right when I see what’s really going on — the reality is many student athletes either take the minimum classes to stay eligible, pursue easy majors that may not have much applicable future career worth, or leave school early for the draft and well before ever completing their free college education.  These young men are not “bad” or “irresponsible” for doing any of these things, but instead simply doing what they think is in their best interest to one day make a big payout by becoming a professional athlete.  Unfortunately, this only happens for a select few.

So while a head coach might earn $4 million dollars a year (roughly $11,000 a day!), the guys pulling the sled might make $5.47 a day?  Once you get past the “amateur athlete” argument (that even the strongest proponents of this view have a hard time holding a straight face saying), there is still an incredibly unequal divide, and a bizarre one at that.  Factoring in that roughly only 1.5% of these athletes will ever go on to play professional sports, it really makes you wonder even more about how unbalanced this model has become. The answer, according to the NCAA, is to give the student athletes a few extra dollars a day.

The Real Problem

No matter what the NCAA finally approves for student athletes (they have already conceded they will do something), it seems as though it will be impossible to remedy a problem that really doesn’t have an answer so long as we continue to call college sports “amateur.”  Amateur sports, in reality, are the games you watch at your local high school or youth league sandlot, not what you see being played in front of 100,000 fans each Saturday.  Calling college football “amateur” is about as watered down as saying Einstein was a descent math student, or Steve Jobs an OK businessman.

College sports, primarily football and basketball, are professional in every sense of the word. The unique wrinkle, however, is the idea that a college education is a great deal for the students whose efforts are directly tied to helping their coaches and administrators make substantially more money in salary each year.  Can you imagine what would happen if college football players ever went on strike??  The “amateur” model that is really pro sports would fall like a house of cards.

In theory, the college degree a student athlete can earn certainly would have value, but the question remains about how many of them — especially elite-level athletes — are truly concerned with selecting a good major, taking school seriously, and finishing the degree?  While we would like to think nearly all college football players do this, the reality is most are hoping for the big professional sport payday of one day making it, and as a result devalue their education-in-trade.  Sadly, most never get drafted, and only then come to realize how important their classes truly were.

The Only Answer

The only fair answer, albeit a controversial one, is to finally allow college sports to have free reign and pay student athletes as though they are employees of the university – exactly like how it’s done with professional sports.  Rather than dangle the college degree with varying levels of value (depending on the student athlete’s level of interest), offer them a financial contract, and even throw in some hefty college discounts as good measure.  This way, the student athletes can earn an equitable wage (more in line with how much money everyone else in the deal is getting) and can decide on whether they want to invest in their education or spend the money any other way they like.

I wonder how college coaches would respond if colleges offered them essentially what is being proposed for student athletes?  For example, rather than paying a head coach 3 or 4 million dollars a year, how about offer him a modest salary (say $75,000) and the ability to take college classes at a deep discount (or give them to a family member)?  How do you think that deal would be received?  You already know the answer to that.

Why is it Taking So Long?

We are looking at an inevitable colossal paradigm shift once college athletes finally get paid, which is what is holding up all this fair progress.  In other words, because its “always been done this way” the NCAA has been able to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone get rich — except, of course, the guys doing the work to earn everyone else the millions of dollars.  This will change, as the $2000 stipend has already been loosely accepted (only the small details remain).  But will this be enough?  At what point will student athletes unite and realize that without their services this entire cash cow collapses? Coaches and administrators are making massive salaries based entirely  on the quality of product on the field (the student athletes) — yet it’s this “product” that continues to earn the smallest piece of the pie.

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Athletes and injuries are nothing new, but did you know that the ways in which athletes recover from injuries today — and the potential problems that often follow after being prescribed pain pills — is very new, and quite alarming.  With sports being physical (and athletes becoming bigger, stronger, and faster), it’s not uncommon for an athlete to deal with an injury at some point in his or her career.  The problem, however, is usually not the injury itself (most heal successfully over time), but instead the injury recovery aftercare process that often includes prescription pain killer medication (i.e. oxycodone, vicodin, and other opiates).  Ironically, as the injury begins to get better, the pain pill addiction often becomes worse, all leading to very serious problems for athletes caught in this predicament (AHPS).

Athletes At-Risk

Delving deeper, it may not even be the pain pills that are the real problem these days, as pain pills have been prescribed by doctors to athletes for many years.  The real problem, it seems, is that increasingly more athletes are being left on pain pill prescriptions far beyond what is needed, creating a very strong physical addiction to the medication. It’s at this precise point where the real problems develop — where the athlete has become addicted to the opiate high, but his or her script has been terminated and the cravings still persist.  Sadly, more and more athletes are turning to hard-core street drugs like heroin (a relatively cheap opiate) to continue and satisfy their cravings.

For most people, the thought of a heroin-addicted person is very different than the thought of a current or former athlete in fantastic physical condition and widely popular with his or her peers.  Instead, most people think of a heroin addict as a strung-out junkie, dirty and homeless, hanging around on a street corner soliciting for a few cents.  In 2012 those folks still exist, but so, too, do a new breed of addicted heroin addicts that used to be amazingly skilled athletes.

When athletes become addicted to pain pills and their prescription runs out, their cravings do not end.  It is at this point where they have the following three choices:

a) Try to ween themselves off their addiction

b) Purchase pain pills off the street (they have become widely available, though not cheap)

c) Move onto to a more readily available, and cheaper, street drug (usually heroin)

Unfortunately, when athletes don’t stop using yet no longer have a prescription to fill, they often turn to buying pain pills and/or heroin to prevent them from getting sick from not having the drug.  In other words, they need the drug just to stay well. In these examples, athletes will sometimes sell things or even steal just so they can stay high and not experience the terrible withdrawal effects of “coming down.”  This is why we sometimes see previously upstanding people do things we could never imagine them doing (i.e. stealing, holding up banks, and even prostituting for money) just so they can feed their addiction.  And with heroin becoming so widely available, and relatively cheap, it’s easy to see where this story is headed.

Tips to Help

If you are a parent, coach, or an athlete who has a direct experience with pain pill (or heroin) usage/addiction, please consider the following tips and insights to help:

• First, if you are an athlete dealing with an injury talk to your doctor directly and explicitly about what alternatives there are (beyond opiates) to help manage and control your pain.  Pain pills are extremely addictive, so please consider them only as a last-resort option.
• If pain pills are prescribed, work with your doctor to explore the differences amongst the available medications, as well as pill strength (milligrams).  It goes without saying that you should always choose the lowest amount of pill strength to manage your pain, if possible
• If you are feeling better yet still have refills available, talk to your doctor about destroying the prescription so that the temptation to refill the script will no longer exist.
• If you are feeling addicted to pain pills (or heroin), STOP AND GET HELP.  Every medical expert agrees that these are drugs that are incredibly difficult to stop using on your own, and it is likely that you will need professional assistance to help with both the physiological and psychological symptoms and side effects.

Final Thoughts

As a clinician who regularly assists athletes, I have personally seen a spike in the number of athletes caught up in pain pills (and a few that moved onto heroin as a cheap alternative).  It’s astonishing how quickly this type of addiction occurs, and once it does it seems as though it is almost impossible to beat.  Unlike other non-opiate drugs, athletes who are innocently prescribed opiate pain pills to help manage an athletic injury are unknowingly rolling the dice with what could be a precursor to bigger future addiction problems.  It is for this reason that the entire athletic community – including athletes, coaches, parents, administrators, and sports medicine physicians – all need to tune in and take seriously the tragic potential consequences of pain pills and injured athletes.

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If you have a son or daughter involved in youth sports, odds are you will probably be asked at some point about your level of interest in possibly becoming a head or assistant coach of your kid’s team.  For most parents, this question catches them off-guard, as they don’t often think about their child’s involvement in youth sports possibly including their role as the coach.  Unfortunately, there always seems to be a shortage of youth sport coaches, hence the reason for the likeliness of this future request (Sport Success 360).

So there you are, possibly going from the “parent in the stands” with all the answers to now being the coach — the person who is supposed to have all the answers (of course, it’s always easier to coach from the stands, right?!).  How do you lead kids with athletic skill development, physical fitness training, and mental toughness development?  Where’s the professional coaching help, athletic trainer, and sport psychologist when you need them?!

For those of you brave enough to take on the role of coach (and I hope many of you will), there are some things you may want to consider before you get started:

• Be objective. This is especially true when you have your child on the team.  For some parents, they are seemingly easier on their child and favor him or her more, while others parents actually become even tougher on their own child.  Being objective also means putting aside those great parent relationships you previously had in the stands and instead making talent evaluations based on the actual athletic abilities of the kids on the team.  While this may not sound too difficult, oftentimes it is — especially if you have become good friends with certain parents on the team whose kids aren’t the most talented.
• Prepare for the transition. While it might seem funny to think about the transition of going from “just another parent in the stands” to becoming the coach, most parents find this to be a lot more challenging than they originally thought.  Even in youth sports things can get real serious in a hurry, and the truth is some coaches get scapegoated as being “the bad guy” when they don’t start or play a kid in a game.  Prior to becoming a coach, it’s easy to sit back and second-guess the coach — but this all changes as soon as it’s you on the sideline making the calls.
• Prepare for the time commitment. One mistake parents often make when evaluating the coach is the amount of time and effort that goes into coaching (meaning they often overlook the demands).  Running practices, preparing for games, helping with fund raising, and communicating with parents are just a few examples that quickly reveal how demanding the job can be — and this is on top of being a parent and having a full-time job!
• Teaching skills – Many parents go into coaching because of need, meaning that the parent may not have experience in the sport that they are asked to coach.  What this means is that you may need to do your homework first and learn the skills necessary to help the kids on your team succeed (meaning even more of a time commitment).
• Make the experience fun. Studies consistently show that the #1 reason kids play sports is to have fun.  Unfortunately, with all the duties coaches are responsible for it can become very challenging to keep it fun at all times.  In fact, some parents who go into coaching quickly find out that not only is the job of being a coach tougher than expected, it can also lead to burnout if a healthy and balanced lifestyle is not kept in place.

While being a coach is not always an easy endeavor, it can be a very fun and meaningful one – for both the coach, as well as all the kids on the team.  Like everything else, being prepared and keeping a good, positive attitude can really help ward off the stress that comes with coaching.

For more information on athletic performance enhancement products, including programming for coaches, be sure to check out the Advanced Human Performance Systems website!

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Being a youth or interscholastic coach can be an awesome experience filled with countless exciting life experiences, including building healthy relationship with kids, pursuing team championships, and coming together as a team when faced with stress, adversity, and dealing with losses (Sport Success 360).  Unfortunately, for some coaches, the experience quickly becomes overwhelming as they become an unfortunate victim to things like their own perfectionism and control, inability to work with kids, and unwillingness to build relationships with parents.

Coaching, like most things in life, is really what you make of it. Successful coaches have realistic personal expectations and team goals, and make sure to prioritize their own health and family before their role as a coach. Of course, there’s more to it than just those simple reminders, including a few more ideas to consider below:

• Make downtime a priority. Today, even youth and interscholastic coaches are at-risk for burnout as it is becoming commonplace to see these coaches put in unbelievable amounts of time into their coaching.  Similar to college and pro coaches, amateur coaches sometimes go too hard for too long, resulting in a host of physical, emotional, and social problems.  Consequently, it is vitally important to keep a schedule that allows you to take breaks and get away when needed.  Sure, this may not be easy to do, but if you don’t do it not only will coaching soon become a lot less fun, but your team will also likely suffer as a result.
• Keep up with training. There are so many changes in youth sports today and many leading sport psychologists, sport educators, and sports medicine personnel have developed important educational training to help meet these needs.  While some leagues and states require specific training, it is important to consider going above the minimum in order to stay abreast of emerging trends – like sports burnout.  Unfortunately, some coaches only do the minimum when it comes to training, and view anything above that as “punitive” rather than educational.
• Teach kids about athletic transferable skills. I talk about these skills a lot, and that’s because they are the essence of the youth sport experience!  Be sure the kids you coach do not minimize the value of the skills they learn in sports, nor falsely assume that all kids have learned the same skills.  Be sure to talk regularly about how things like mental toughness, confidence, discipline, and resiliency are not only skills for sport success, but also life success.
• Involve parents. Quite often the #1 complaint I hear from coaches is “parents.”  The main reason coaches feel this way has to do with how parents feel their child should be used compared to how the coach is actually using the child.  The disconnect seems to exist on every youth and interscholastic sports team to some extent, making it an issue coaches need to be proactive with when deciding upon their personal philosophy.  Successful coaches often have pre-season meetings to kick off the start of the season, and talk about their coaching philosophy and how parents can be a positive and active part of the team.  Some coaches even set up ways for parents to ask constructive questions about their child and how he/she can improve, and possibly even earn more playing time in the future.  Regardless of how you develop your philosophy, one thing is certain — when parents feel disconnected and under-appreciated, they often let their feelings be known, which can in turn make for a very long season.
• Emphasize the positives!!!! High fives, emphatic praise, and a general positive attitude can go a long, long way when it comes to sports.  Choose your daily attitude and be sure to “catch” kids doing things right, especially when they give great effort (even if the results aren’t always great).

For more information about youth and interscholastic coaching success, check out Sport Success 360 or visit Advanced Human Performance Systems today!

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The following article is a piece I wrote for the National Federation of High Schools (NFHS) High School Today magazine in 2010:

When it comes to coaching kids, developing a delicate balance of being coach, teacher, and friend can be very challenging, to say the least.  In an ideal situation, successful coaches develop and maintain appropriate boundaries and guidelines within each role, leading to positive holistic development and growth for all student athletes on the team.  Successful coaches continuously develop a philosophy and personal style that enable them to do the following things: Instruct technical athletic skills, teach life skills from athletic experiences that can be applied to school and future careers, and occasionally even wear the hat of “friend” when student athletes need a place to turn in times of need.  Some coaches seem to naturally develop this healthy balance, while other coaches struggle wearing all three hats – and, in worst-case scenarios, step over the integrity line and abuse coach-student athlete boundaries.

Unfortunately, the issue of establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries between coaches and student athletes is a growing concern in America today, as cases of inappropriate relationships involving alcohol, drugs, and sexual activity continue to increase annually.  The following are tips and insights that responsible coaches use to ensure their behaviors and relationships are appropriate.

• Responsible coaches always keep in mind the tremendous amount of trust that has been put on them.  In many instances, the role a coach plays in a young person’s life is almost as important as a parent (and in some instances the coach may even become a “pseudo-parent”).  The trust kids have in a coach is a very special thing, and the relationship coaches develop with kids can lead to either a prosperous, healthy personal growth experience through sport participation or a lifetime of painful memories due to short-sighted thinking and inappropriate and potentially illegal behaviors.
• Since most coaches operate autonomously (meaning they act on their own and are guided by their own thinking and behaviors), responsible coaches know that it is vitally important to police their own behaviors.  If something doesn’t feel right (i.e. going to a student athlete’s party, or exchanging messages discretely via email or text messaging), they stop the behavior and take time to think about the possible consequences of their actions.  Not only may the behavior be inappropriate, it may even be illegal; that’s why it is so important to think about their actions.
• The coach is always in an adversarial relationship with his or her student athletes, and also in a position of tremendous power.  Responsible coaches do not take this lightly.  Kids on the team will often do whatever the coach says they should do, even if they feel uncomfortable or know that what is being asked of them doesn’t feel right.  Sadly, some irresponsible coaches take advantage of this coercive dynamic and abuse the power of being a coach.  In these instances, many terrible things can occur, including the loss of employment as a coach, a child left with terrible emotional scarring, and possibly even incarceration if the activities are illegal.
• While the age of consent varies from state-to-state, responsible coaches know that one thing is certain: It is never appropriate to develop a sexual relationship with a student athlete (even if he/she is above the age of consent).  The reason for this is that the relationship coaches build with student athletes is predicated on trust, and the adult figure must always maintain that trust under all circumstances.  Good coaches realize that it is ultimately their responsibility, not the child’s, to ensure that an inappropriate relationship doesn’t develop.  Developing a dual-relationship (i.e. being the coach and also carrying on a sexual relationship with a student athlete) is never appropriate, and using the excuse that “the student athlete caused this to happen” is also unacceptable.
• A growing concern, and often an antecedent condition when it comes to inappropriate relationships between coaches and student athletes, is the use (and abuse) of internet social networking pages.  Responsible coaches know how to effectively create and monitor their social networking pages (i.e. MySpace, Facebook).  They only display appropriate pictures and content, and they exclude sexual innuendo, coarse language, and pictures that include sexual and/or drug and alcohol themes.  Good coaches regularly examine their pages to make sure the content is appropriate, and that it is suitable for student athletes who may visit their sites.
• Responsible coaches know that social networking pages often create depersonalized communication between people.  Emailing, instant messaging, and texting are examples of casual communication that can quickly become a “slippery slope” when it comes to inappropriate relationships developing.  Good coaches steer clear of communication that can be misinterpreted as emotional or sexually-oriented.  Avoiding this type of communication is another way responsible coaches avoid any inappropriate behavior.
• Responsible coaches discuss their communication style early and often with both parents and student athletes, making sure to convey how they prefer to communicate (i.e. email, phone, or in-person), as well as when they available to communicate.  They know that it is important to establish these guidelines so that fewer impromptu meetings occur – making inappropriate relationships less likely to occur as well.
• Responsible coaches are sure to always use appropriate language when working with kids.  They minimize the use of coarse, vulgar, and profane language, and they do not make comments that could be viewed as racist, sexist, or unfairly biased.  These coaches realize that unprofessional language can lead to loose, casual relationships developing, which can later lead to a deterioration of the coach-student athlete dynamic, often contributing to inappropriate coach-student athlete relationships.
• Responsible coaches meet with kids at appropriate times and places, steering away from questionable places (i.e. casually outside of school) and instead use more appropriate locations (i.e. a school office).  Additionally, they typically meet with kids while having other adults around, and keep the door of the office open whenever possible.  Obviously, meeting with student athletes in private places, especially late after school, is never a wise decision and should be avoided whenever possible.

When good coaches find themselves in awkward positions with student athletes, they know how important it is to think and act responsibly.  Remember, it is always the coach’s responsibility to act like an adult at all times and prevent inappropriate relationships from occurring.  The way coaches conduct themselves, their level of professionalism, and the examples they set for kids is very important and cannot be overstated.

For more information about building healthy and successful relationships with young athletes, check out Sport Success 360.

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