The Sports Doc Chalk Talk

As the high school year comes to a close, there are a number of things for high school student athletes to think about – especially upper class students who wish to one day play college sports (AHPS).  Of course, the odds are long for most kids wishing to play college sports (only about 5-7% move on from high school to college sports), but there are still a number of tips sport psychologists suggest that can help increase the chances of playing at the next level (even if it’s DIII).

• Of course, the #1 (and most obvious) thing high school student athletes have to do is play their sport very well. While the rest of the tips below may help your son or daughter’s chances of playing college sports one day, none of them will be a substitute for the athletic talent needed to compete at the college level.
• Assuming your child has the athletic potential needed to play beyond high school, you will need to think early and often about “marketing” your child to colleges.  Keep in mind that while college coaches are limited to when and how often they can communicate (recruit) with potential student athletes about their athletic program, families can do a number of different things to help their chances.  Some of these ideas include developing a portfolio that highlights athletic, academic, and social activities; creating a sports video of his or her in action; and attending specific camps and clinics to raise visibility of your child’s athletic abilities.
• Speaking of camps and clinics, be sure to target the ones that make the most sense and commensurate with your child’s athletic abilities and potential.  For example, if your child is a borderline DIII student athlete, it might not make a lot of sense to sign up for elite-level DI camps where his or her talents may not be a fit. Similarly, if your child is a potential DI student athlete, your son or daughter might be “over-qualified” for a DIII college camp.
• Aside from athletic responsibilities, potential college student athletes need to also stay on top of academic grades, extra-curriculars, and other leadership-type experiences.  College coaches invest a lot of money in athletic recruiting and scholarships these days, making it even that much more important that they choose kids who are responsible with their decision-making and life choices.
• Think about having your child take the SAT or ACT early, if possible.  Some kids postpone taking these tests until their senior year, and by that time limit their opportunities to re-take these tests if their first scores were not quite as high as they would have liked.  Of course, make sure that your child has taken the right courses ahead of time in order to sit for these exams — if you are not sure of this, call your child’s school counselor for assistance.
• If your child is serious about playing college sports, he or she will also need to get registered with the NCAA clearinghouse – again, see your school counselor for assistance with this process.

While there may not be many things to “substitute” for a lack of athletic talent and potential when it comes to playing college sports, there are a number of things families can do to help improve the chances to play after high school (including the tips provided above).  Do your homework and leave no stone unturned — good luck!

www.drstankovich.com

Sport Success 360 is the tool for helping families, youth sports leagues, and school athletic departments maximize the athletic experience – check it out today!

Sports officials sometimes take a lot of heat for missing calls, and rarely get the appreciation they deserve for when they hustle and call a great game.  On this video I delve deeper into what you should expect from amateur sports officials, as well as remind you that these folks are “human” and will occasionally miss calls.  This summer be sure to show your appreciation to the officials that referee your child’s sports games!

www.drstankovich.com

Check out The Parents Playbook, designed to help ALL sports parents maximize the youth sport experience!

Sports might be the best place to observe “the intimidation factor.”  Whether it trash talking on a basketball court, a high-and-inside fastball from a baseball pitcher, or an after the whistle purposeful shove in football, it’s quite commonplace to witness athletes trying to get in the heads of their opponents and knock down their level of mental toughness. Interestingly, intimidation comes in many different forms, ranging from perfectly legal (and even strategic), to downright unsportsmanlike and dangerous.  An inside fastball in baseball is an example of the former, while a purposeful cheap shot punch after the whistle is an example of the latter.  As sport psychologists often note, controlled, sportsmanlike aggression may be a good thing, but uncontrolled, illegal, and unsportsmanlike behaviors are never warranted.

In the 1970′s, Jack Lambert was the perfect example of a scary dude.  Lambert was a middle linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers and was known as much for his aggressive tackling as he was for his missing front teeth.  While not the most imposing guy physically, Lambert seemed to always be in the heads of NFL quarterbacks for his fearless play.  In hockey, The infamous Broad Street Bullies (Philadelphia Flyers) of the 1970′s were also known for their rough-and-tumble play, and in basketball the Detroit Pistons of the 1990′s were known as the “Bad Boys,” primarily for the aggressive play of Bill Laimbeer, Rick Mahorn, and Dennis Rodman.  And in baseball, just about any pitcher who throws around 100 MPH and isn’t afraid to come inside gains instant respect from hitters.  As you can see, intimidation plays a part in nearly every sport — but the big question still remains: Does it work? That really depends on your definition of “works” and how far you will go to win games.

When intimidation “works,” it’s usually because of the following reasons:

A.) It leads to an opponent purposely being knocked out of the game.  Obviously this is nothing I would ever encourage, and I hope no coach would ever instruct players to purposely knock an opponent out of a game because of a cheap shot.  The reality, however, is that it has now been revealed that some coaches and teams do in fact encourage players to do whatever is necessary to win – including KO’s of the opponent – as evidenced in the recent New Orleans Saints bounty-gate. It goes without saying that intentionally looking to hurt an opponent is at the very least unsportsmanlike, and at worst could even be illegal.  As you can see, this type of intimidation “works” only in the sense that it lessens the abilities of the other team, although it also completely circumvents the assumed fairness, integrity, and sportsmanship we should all expect in sports.  Fortunately, coaches and athletes that ascribe to this type of “winning” are, in my experience, a very small percentage of sports participants.

B.) The more accepted form of intimidation is when it is kept within the rules of the game – like the pitcher who pitches inside to gain back the plate, or the boxer who engages in a stare down before the start of a fight.  In these examples intimidation may work if it does one thing – takes an opponent off his or her game. For example, if an inside fastball prompts the batter to give up more of the plate on the next pitch, most baseball purists would say that makes perfect sense.  Similarly in boxing, if the pre-fight stare down leads to the opponent being anxious and scared (and subsequently “off” his game), then most would agree the intimidation “worked.”  Conversely, examples of crossing the line would be when a pitcher intentionally throws at a guy’s head, or a boxer takes an unobstructed  cheap shot at his opponent during the pre-fight instructions.

Whenever an athlete is able to throw his or her opponent off by legal, sportsmanlike intimidation, then it is left to the individual to decide whether he or she would find it appropriate to do.  The potential “payoff” in using intimidation in sportsmanlike ways occurs when the opponent stops thinking about what he is supposed to do (and loses focus and confidence), and starts thinking about how afraid he is of the opponent (and thus increases sports anxiety).  In sports, this is known as taking a player “off his game.”

Are sports intimidation tactics good, and do they “work” by increasing the chances for sports success?  As you can see there are different ways in interpreting that question, ranging from intimidation being inappropriate and possibly illegal on one end of the spectrum, to smart sports strategy on the other.  What we do know is that when an opponent is far more worried about you than he is about what he is supposed to do on the next play, then you can make an argument that intimidation “works.”  This does not mean to imply that every athlete should look to intimidate his or her opponent, but to instead illustrate how the mental aspects of sport competition can enter into and impact the outcomes of games.  Many factors go into how an athlete should prepare for his or her sport, including how their personality traits are best used to both stay within the rules of the game and get in the head of their opponent (if they feel that is even necessary).  Even the type of sport enters into whether to develop intimidation skills — meaning you are far less likely to see evil stare-downs in bowling than you might in football.

www.drstankovich.com

Check our our high performance sports apps — many are listed just to the right of today’s column!

I believe the time is now that we make concerted efforts to better educate and prepare families for their child’s eventual sport retirement.  With sports being as big as they are in this country, its a shame that so many athletes are still left to themselves to figure out who they are, what their talents are beyond sports, and what future paths exist for them when in the midst of the sport retirement transition.  Fortunately, most athletes do not fall into the worst-case scenarios of suicide (as with the recent passing of Junior Seau), but literally millions of athletes from various sports, backgrounds, and types, experience great distress during sport retirement – often resulting in depression, anxiety, role confusion, and poor future planning.  In order to cope with this distress, many athletes turn to drug and alcohol abuse, aggression, and reckless behaviors (like gambling).

The message I am sending today is designed to promote more action in the ways of better educating sports families about the athletic identity, and how kids often develop an exclusive athletic identity that hinders them when they end their careers in sports.  With so many kids now specializing in one sport and playing it nearly year-round, it becomes easy to see how athletes develop their self-worth around “athlete.”  Their social identities (or how others view them), are also constructed around the athletic identity, too (like when we immediately ask about the game before anything else).  None of this is “bad” necessarily, but it all leads to the fact that most kids never play beyond high school (only about 5% do), making the sport retirement transition usually an abrupt and unplanned one. Without better educational efforts, families will continue to struggle when their kids (who are often just teenagers without great coping skills due to their youth) experience distress during this period — making it that much more important that we make things better.

Help is Here!

One approach that we have developed is Sport Success 360, a licensed educational system designed to help schools and youth sport leagues by providing key psychosocial information, tips, and strategies designed to help kids have a safe, fun, and meaningful athletic experience.  I encourage you to learn more about Sport Success 360 by watching this introductory video — Sport Success 360 includes a broad range of topics (including sport retirement), complimentary videos, and free downloads of Sport Success 360 and Sport Success 360 PLUS audio program.

If you are reading this blog, then it can be assumed you have an interest in youth and interscholastic sports (probably as either a parent, athlete, or coach).  While you may not be a decision-maker in your school or youth league, you can help raise awareness by mentioning Sport Success 360, or other great sport education programs out there that can help kids not only better prepare for sport retirement, but also learn about key psychosocial issues like the dangers of performance enhancing supplements, youth sport burnout, hazing, and many more issues.  In all likelihood you have also experienced more traditional issues, like playing time, cuts, sportsmanship, tough coaches (or parents), and travel leagues – Sport Success 360 covers those topics, too.

Education Helps On and Off the Field

Mental toughness is needed on the field, but it’s not limited to just wins and losses — we need to help families learn the culture of sports today, and successful strategies to help kids cope with the pressures they commonly experience in sports.  Just as important as the X’s and O’s are, we need to help kids with performance anxiety, as well as the resiliency needed to bounce back from adversity.  Ironically, these are really life skills and not limited to sports, making these kinds of sport education efforts that much more vital.

Better and more prevalent education does not imply that sports are bad, or that all kids who play sports have terrible experiences — far from it.  Instead, we need to realize that the days of a handful of casual summer games played on the local sandlot are long gone — replaced by high-level, intense, pressure-filled travel league sports schedules for kids who sometimes struggle to keep up.  Of course, these are not bad kids, either – they are just that, kids, vulnerable to kid mistakes when trying to deal with pressure.

Helping Kids – Even the Ones that Don’t Speak Up

Kids don’t always speak up when they feel pressure – be it from their parents or team expectations.  In some cases kids have a talent for a specific sport, but don’t love playing the sport — yet still refrain from speaking out because the see the time, money, and energy being invested in their athletic career.  Some kids have a lot of trouble multi-tasking other activities – like school and social activities — while others have difficulty dealing with resiliency that sometimes manifests into unsportsmanlike behavior and/or uncontrolled aggression.

When we view youth sports through the lens of it being an often intense, complex, and radically different experience than generations of the past, it helps us better frame the educational approach to youth sports as being one of “keeping up with the times” than one that needs to be done because of “problems.”  Introducing new and more advanced ways of delivering contemporary sport education is not an admission that an athletic department or youth league has gone out of control, but instead an example of sports leaders making important budgetary decisions that go beyond the traditional basics.  Of course, finding new revenue streams is never easy, but when issues become important enough people become resourceful – this is often referred to as a “tipping point.”  Are we there yet?  I think so, and from my experiences with many sports people, it sounds like there is increasingly more support to improve future efforts.  I personally believe this will happen, and I hope you do, too.

www.drstankovich.com

Sport Success 360 is the premier sport education system, designed to improve the culture of your youth or interscholastic team/league!

Roger Clemens is in court again, trying yet again to discretely exit out the backdoor and maintain his innocence while facing mountains of empirical and circumstantial evidence that clearly link him to banned and illegal steroids and performance enhancing supplements.  Once known to baseball fans as a role model, winning pitcher, and fearless competitor, today Clemens comes across as a coward — a person so terrified to ever being discovered having been a cheater that he has gone to unimaginable lengths to protect his less than glamorous past.

While countless baseball peers of Clemens have come clean and admitted to their guilt (even if they were essentially forced to do so), Clemens continues to hold a poker face and maintain that he never used any kind of performance enhancement supplement during his career.  Of course, Clemens, like anyone charged for a crime, is “innocent until proven guilty,” but there is so much going against Clemens denials and so much evidence supporting he used that it’s almost comical watching how far a man will go to preserve his name and reputation — that at least partially was built upon cheating.

I would imagine many MLB players, especially those who played during the time Clemens played, are quite bothered by the position Clemens is taking.  I would also suspect that those players who were caught during the steroid era in baseball are really troubled by the fact that there’s a good chance that Clemens will somehow squirm out of the charges against him, while they had to pay a terrible price through public humiliation and a tarnished reputation.  But not Roger Clemens — rather than “manning up,” as he used to do in pressure game situations, he continues to take the cowards route of denial.

While there is an extremely remote chance that Clemens never cheated, there are many factual pieces to this case that certainly refute his innocence, including the following:

• Clemens played in the steroid era — legions of players from this time have already been busted, and many more have talked about how widespread usage was amongst players.  We have learned in retrospect from players during the steroid era that the baseball culture during that time was filled with steroids and PED’s — and the ridiculous power numbers that have yet to be duplicated since the steroid era certainly support this claim.
• Clemens clearly became more fit as he aged, and his pitching numbers improved dramatically as well.  Never before – nor since the steroid era – have we witnessed baseball players getting bigger, stronger, and better as they aged. Father Time didn’t tap Clemens on the shoulder and grant him “special” abilities.
• There are stacks of medical reports and even DNA evidence connecting Clemens to steroid paraphernalia and unprecedented medical rehabilitation success.  In fact, every claim that Brian McNamee (Clemens former trainer) has made has been confirmed – even his claims about injecting Clemens wife with human growth hormone - but somehow he is lying about only one man – Roger Clemens?
• McNamee admitted under oath about Clemens’ usage, and Clemens former best friend Andy Pettitte has also confessed that Clemens used.  Pettitte has nothing to gain by making this claim, and is (was?) actually a friend of Roger Clemens. His testimony may end up being the most damaging in the end if Clemens is found guilty of using.
• Outside of Clemens and Barry Bonds (another player who squirmed out the back door rather than admitting his usage), nearly every player from the steroid era in baseball who used has either: a) been caught, or b) admitted to using.
• Finally, even though there is enough evidence out there already that shows Clemens is almost certainly lying, ask yourself how your gut feels about his innocence?  Is there any part of this case where you feel Clemens didn’t use?  While I would never suggest a person rely exclusively on intuition and “gut feelings,” I would encourage onlookers to trust those feelings, especially as they add to the already existing evidence that is almost impossible to refute.

Is Roger Clemens a role model?  Hardly.  Is he a coward who looks foolish trying to shirt from the truth, when he could simply come clean and help millions of young athletes learn about the dangers of steroids and performance enhancing supplements?  In my opinion, yes.  Is he an extremely wealthy former athlete with a good defense team that will probably get him off from these charges against him?  Sadly, probably so.

“The Rocket,” as artificial as that name now sounds, will probably remain intact and ride off into the sunset never admitting to cheating the game of baseball.  Unlike one of his former teammates, Alex Rodriguez, Clemens will not admit to any wrongdoing; and unlike Rodriguez and other players who have admitted using (including Andy Pettitte), he will never have the opportunity to be forgiven for his mistakes and poor decisions.  The truth is we all make bad choices in life, and none of us are perfect — but we have witnessed that by coming clean (like Rodriguez and Pettitte did), people do forgive and forget.  What people don’t like, however, is when a person is so obviously guilty yet still stands proudly rather than admitting to his crimes.  That’s exactly the position Clemens has taken, and it’s not only cowardly, but also a terrific missed opportunity for a fresh start and means to help better educate kids about playing right, playing safe, and playing with integrity.

www.drstankovich.com

Play right, play safe, and play with increased mental toughness — learn more at Advanced Human Performance Systems

Coaches are regularly challenged to be successful leaders and get the most out of their team (Sport Success 360).  When their team is “loaded,” they have to make sure they keep the team focused and playing up to their abilities.  On the other hand, when they coach teams with average or below-average talent, the challenge is to lead the team so that they believe in themselves and play over their heads (and over-achieve).  How a coach leads his or her team is important in both of these situations, and there are a few general rules all coaches can benefit from in order to help the team reach its full potential.  Getting the team to “buy in” to the coach’s philosophy is key — listed below are a few quick sport psychology tips to help:

• Set appropriate, realistic goals. Studies consistently show that when people set realistic, challenging goals (rather than goals that are too easy or too difficult) people are more likely to persevere and remained motivated toward the goals.  Set goals that challenge your players, and then with every accomplished goal try and set another tier of goals that are even more challenging than the first.
• Generate enthusiasm. It’s no secret that when we are excited, we are more apt to be motivated to play hard and win.  Coaches who show positive enthusiasm almost always benefit by the team picking up on this energy, and as a result the team usually plays with better focus, motivation, mental toughness, and resiliency.
• Be consistent. Coaches who treat all players as fairly as possible usually build the best team cohesion.  While it is important to motivate players as individuals, when it comes to team rules and protocols it is important to be as fair as possible in order to improve team chemistry and cohesion.
• Praise often. People are much more likely to reach goals when they are praised and shaped in positive and instructive ways.  Rather than embarrass, berate, or humiliate players into performing better,  find creative ways to praise for effort and encourage players to do a better job the next time out.
• Prepare to deal with losses. While it might sound strange to prepare for tough times, it actually makes a lot of sense when you think about it.  The reality is that most teams will lose (some will lose a lot), so preparing for dejected players and a negative locker room is very important.  As a wise man once said, “it’s not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up.”  Coaches need to think about how to regain the team and move them quickly through the sadness and sulking stage and back toward the focus and motivation needed to play at a high level tomorrow.

Being a successful coach at any level is a challenging task when you think about it.  Getting a team to buy into a coach’s philosophy can be a tough sell, and then keeping a team motivated throughout the season can be an equally difficult task.  Coaches who learn about leadership techniques and work on their interpersonal communication skills put themselves in the best possible situation to create a great team environment, as well as win more games.

www.drstankovich.com

Check out Sport Success 360 to help improve the overall culture of your team, athletic department, or youth league – get started today!

Summer sports are just around the corner, and before you know it millions of kids across the country will be playing baseball, softball, soccer, and a host of other sports. Most youth sport leagues are run by volunteer coaches and administrators, and officiated by amateur referees who might be paid a nominal fee for their efforts.  Obviously your son or daughter is not playing professional sports, yet there should be a few minimal expectations you should have from the umpires, referees, and other officials that work your child’s games.

First, keep in mind that most youth sport officials do a really good job — they show up on time, work hard to be fair in their judgments, and attend to potentially dangerous situations in a timely manner.  Still, there are always going to be some officials who don’t do the job they are expected to do, resulting in a less-than-optimal experience for your child.  So what expectations should you have for officials this summer?  Below are a few quick thoughts to consider:

• Hustle. Sports officiating requires hustle, and officials know this going into the job.  Of course, you should be reasonable with your expectations (especially on those really hot summer days), but you should expect that officials are doing all that they can to make the right calls on the field.
• Wrong calls vs. bad calls. Wrong calls are made when an official doesn’t understand the rules of the game (which should not happen very often).  In these instances try and make your point to the official in a tactful way, and not in a manner designed to embarrass or humiliate the official.  Bad calls, however, happen more regularly — these are the types of judgements that happen in a moments notice and are sometimes missed by officials.  Try to be more tolerant in these instances, as even professional officials make mistakes (after all, we’re all human).
• Fairness. Good officials treat both teams the same – with dignity and respect.  You should not see the official going over to one team during a game and joking around and giving the impression of playing favorites – instead, good officials make it a point to stay objective and measured in the ways in which they interact and communicate with both teams competing.
• Responding to dangerous situations. Good officials will keep an eye out for potentially dangerous situations and immediately respond to injuries on the field when they occur.  Of course, you should not expect the official to provide medical attention to an injured player, but he/she should have an emergency protocol to follow (like knowing who to call) for when injuries occur.

Make sure to do your part this summer by showing respect to officials, and thanking them for all the hard work they do so that kids can have a safe, fun, and meaningful sports experience.  Also make sure to be patient and understanding for when bad calls are made (as they will be), and try to remember how difficult a job it is to be perfect with judgement calls (like calling balls and strikes in baseball and softball).  Sports officials don’t usually make much money for their hard work, and they are often under-appreciated — making it even that much more important to tell them “thanks” for all they do!

www.drstankovich.com

Check out Advanced Human Performance Systems for high-performance products and information designed for student athletes, parents, and coaches!

I have been involved with many discussions this week around Ron Artest, and the overall big picture of sports aggression.  As I wrote about earlier this week, it’s not the emotion that gets players in trouble, but how they manifest their energy.  When players allow their emotions to take the form of negative actions (like hitting another player), bad things happen.  On the other hand, when athletes learn how to more effectively channel their emotions into positive and facilitative actions, good things almost always follow.

www.drstankovich.com

Learn more about mental toughness and how it can help athletes improve their focus, concentration, motivation, and resiliency – check out Mind of Steel today!

Athletes commonly experience an emotional roller coasting while competing — perhaps put no better than the late ABC Wide World of Sports weekly introduction that depicted the sport experience going from “the thrill of victory to the agony of defeat.” The point is that sports prompt athletes to become emotional — and herein is where aggressive and unsportsmanlike acts often originate (Sport Success 360).

Examining the recent Ron Artest incident where he blind-sided James Harden with his elbow —moments before the elbow, Artest felt excitement — and subsequently made a cognitive decision about how he would demonstrate his emotion. Rather than giving a positive and emphatic fist pump to the crowd, he decided to channel his emotion into a terrible cheap shot.  Think about what a “teachable moment” this can be for kids when they begin to learn that the emotions they feel from playing sports are great, but how they channel their emotions makes the difference between being a positive leader or getting thrown out of a game for displaying unsportsmanlike behavior.  Ironically, and simplistically, the direction in which Artest threw his elbow made all the difference — had it gone in the direction of the crowd rather than the back of Harden’s head, he likely would have helped his team continue to pick up energy, confidence, and mental toughness – variables linked closely to sports focus and athletic success.

Sports parents and coaches can teach student athletes to develop the sport psychology mental toughness skills needed to control emotions while competing and re-direct negative thoughts (that often lead to negative actions) into positive, facilitative, team-building emotions and actions (like giving high-fives to teammates).

Young athletes can learn early in their careers that how they think on the field will directly impact how they play.  By understanding that mistakes will happen, games will be lost, and possibly injuries will be experienced at some point, kids can prepare emotionally ahead of time by developing positive thinking routines to use when these situations eventually occur.

When adults take time to process with kids the teachable moments commonly experienced in sports — like effectively handling adversity — many really terrific things usually occur.  Perhaps the biggest change you will notice is a surge in confidence, which often triggers motivation, focus, and goal commitment. As you might guess, these are the athletes that reach their full athletic potential as a result.

The next time you go to your child’s game, keep an eye out for when a young athlete throws a glove, curses, or pushes an opponent after a play ends.  Remember, that same energy you witnessed in those acts could have all been turned into much better outcomes, like smacking a glove emphatically, telling the team “lets get them next time,” and helping an opponent up in the spirit of sportsmanship. Your child can learn vicariously from these experiences (meaning she can learn by watching others rather than being directly involved in the unsportsmanlike act), and quickly improve her mental toughness through your teachings.  As you help kids make these pro-social thought-behavior connections, talk about the many other ways these skills can be applied (or transferred), like toward academic success.

www.drstankovich.com

Got an iphone, ipod, or ipad?  If so, be sure to check out our high performance sports apps just to the right of today’s column!

Los Angeles Lakers player Metta World Peace (Ron Artest for the purpose of this article) viciously blind-sided James Harden in the head yesterday, prompting sports fans worldwide to attack Artest for his aggressive play and history of sport-related violence and suspensions.  There is no doubt that Artest has a checkered past when it comes to keeping his emotions under control, as his record of getting into fights speaks for itself.  It’s also very understandable that many fans are tired of Artest’s behavior, and rightfully so, as a shot like the one he delivered yesterday could have easily have been a career-ending hit.  Looking at the bigger picture, however, it becomes a very interesting discussion when you examine how intimidation, hard (but fair) play, and deliberate aggressive/violent acts all enter into sports.  What’s good, right, bad, or wrong? (Sport Success 360).

There isn’t much debate that Ron Artest has struggled with his emotional development throughout his career — many times admitting to his problems through various interviews over the years.  In fact, Artest has even talked about his work with a psychologist, which I find quite admirable that he would seek treatment (even if he is still showing signs of his uncontrolled anger).  But what about the aggression your child shows in sports?  Does he have an “anger problem,” or is his level of mental toughness good for the sport he plays?  Does your daughter have an appropriate level of intensity, or does she seem to cross the line with occasional cheap shots?  Many parents ask themselves these types of questions everyday, wondering if their child might, too, have an anger problem similar to Ron Artest.

What makes this a challenging conversation in sports is the fact that so many sports are physical in nature — making the “line” somewhat blurry when it comes to appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.  Case in point: If somebody in the office chucked you hard as you made your way to the copy machine, not only would this be inappropriate, it might also lead to that employee being fired – or even sued.  In a sport like hockey, however, players are encouraged to knock down the opposing player heading toward a goal.  Same behavior, yet the behavior is viewed quite differently across settings.

In addition to aggression being a part of most sports, there is also an emotional factor that enters into play that is very different than our day-to day work.  In other words, many athletes become emotional while being in the heat of a battle, and quite often they engage in physical play through the emotional experience.  Occasionally, they cross the line while in this mind state.  Of course, this doesn’t justify “cheap play,” but it may help us understand some of the contextual cues that enter in to aggression in sports.

When it comes to your child and sports aggression, ask yourself the following questions to see how he or she sizes up:

• Is her aggression usually tied to winning the game (i.e. blocking a player out under the rim, or checking a player into the boards), or is it tied to simply being frustrated (like hitting an opponent after the whistle)?  The first type of aggression is instrumental aggression, while the second is called hostile aggression. If your child regularly engages in hostile aggression, you might want to pay close attention to the situation to see if she might need help with controlling her emotions.
• Does your child regularly seem to be in the middle of fights while playing?  Sport psychologists will often look at prevalence and trends when it comes to aggression in sports, and if your son is seemingly always in the middle of scuffles there could be a problem.
• Has your child been disciplined for sports violence/aggression before?  If so, and he continues to display the same behaviors, you may want to seek professional assistance as it appears as though the consequences are not curtailing the behavior.

www.drstankovich.com

Sport Success 360 – get your school or league signed up TODAY!