The Sports Doc Chalk Talk

There is a delicate balancing act between integrity and success when it comes to sports fans and their desire to align themselves with a sports winner.  On the conservative side of the argument, it appears that some fans will tolerate very little from coaches/programs that lie, cheat, and break every rule of integrity in their quest to become a winner.  In these instances, the fan base believes that winning should come a distant second to “doing it the right way,” implying that playing by the rules is paramount to a credible sports program.  On the other side of this argument is the “win-at-all-costs” type of fan who could care less about playing by the rules as long as the team wins.  Rules, ethics, and sportsmanship are merely words to these fans, as the only thing that is really important is winning.

The reality is most people actually fall in between these two polar opposites – meaning most fans would like to win and play by the rules, but if the rules need to be tweaked a little (or conveniently overlooked) it’s still OK if the team is winning.  In some cases, sports fans feel the need to align themselves with a winner so much so that they will put on convenient blinders when their team/program gets in trouble.  The most recent example of this behavior is at Arkansas where Head Football Coach Bobby Petrino is catching fire for his less-than-professional behavior involving an extramarital affair with a 25 year old office staffer.  Conservative fans have already called for his resignation, while “win-at-all-cost” fans have minimized the incident as Petrino has proven to be a pretty good football coach on the field.  In fact, there have already been rally’s in Arkansas to save Petrino’s job!

The big question I have is why is there such an incredible desire by some sports fans to be a part of a winning program, so much so that many will completely overlook, disregard, challenge facts, or even fool themselves into thinking “nothing happened” when many of these stories break?  The urge is so strong to be aligned with a winner that these fans will not only tolerate, but even accept behaviors from their coach and athletic program that they would never tolerate or accept from a family member, friend, or employer.  But when it comes to sports, we commonly hear things like “It was no big deal,” or “Look at what other programs do.”  In some cases these fans even justify the crimes in their mind, pointing to the unjust system as the reason why it’s OK to break rules.

From a sport psychology vantage point, it makes perfect sense that we as people strive to be the best, and aligning ourselves with people and programs that exemplify excellence also makes sense.  The problem, however, is when this urge to be the best contaminates our objective, logical, and fair thinking — sometimes so much that we lose our own sense of what’s right and wrong in our efforts to defend “the winner.”  For example, take any one of the NCAA problems that have surfaced over just the past year alone.  If you were a fan of one of these schools, there is a good chance you minimized (or even outright dismissed) the “crimes” that were reported.  But how would you have reacted if the same thing happened at another school? Or how would you have reacted if the same crimes occurred at your rival school? Would you have reacted the same way?  Honestly?  Do you think the Arkansas fan base supporting Coach Petrino right now would think the same, no-problem-here way if these same circumstances happened at another rival SEC school?  I don’t think so, and neither do you.

My point here is to not to push a high and mighty position of moral authority, but to challenge sports fans to think about the relationship they have between winning and doing it the right way.  Where do you draw the line?  If you happen to be from the “who cares” so long as we win camp, is this the same set of values you would want your kids to espouse?  And if you are from the “win the right way” camp, have you set your standards so high that they are impossible to live by?

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With the NFL Bounty-Gate in the news, it prompted me to think about sports aggression and the differences between healthy, competitive hitting versus violent and illegal physical play.  The New Orleans Saints organization is paying a big price (especially head coach Sean Payton) for the bounties that were set by previous defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, yet some are arguing that the hits would have been just the same regardless whether they were done to receive bounty money or not.  After all, this is the NFL and aggression comes part and parcel with football, right?  Actually, sport psychologists identify two types of sports aggression, presenting an entirely different view of what may have happened in New Orleans.

For sports parents, this is a great opportunity to teach kids about how violence and aggression play into sports, including the differences between healthy and unhealthy aggression.  The two types of aggression commonly seen in sports, instrumental and hostile, are broken down in more detail below:

Instrumental Aggression

This type of legal aggression occurs in sports when an athlete is in pursuit of winning and playing within the competitive spirit of the game. The aggression, in actuality, is needed and used in order to make plays, stop the opponent, and ultimately win games.  This type of aggression is not designed to hurt players, or purposely knock opponents out of the game to make it easier to win. One way to think of this instrumental aggression is to think of the aggression as helpful, and not intentionally harmful.

Some examples of instrumental aggression would include a hockey player checking another player in order to get to a loose puck, a basketball player using his body to position for a rebound, or a baseball pitcher pitching inside to gain better control of the plate.

Hostile Aggression

This type of aggression differs from instrumental aggression in that the sole intention of hostile aggression is to hurt another player.  In these instances, the aggression is not directed at scoring points or tackling a player, but instead purposely designed to physically hurt another player. When you see a cheap shot in sports, most likely it’s an example of hostile aggression.  In  New Orleans, the aggression could be called hostile aggression as bounties are designed exclusively to “knock guys out.”

Helping Your Child Understand Sports Aggression

So how does your child stack up?  If she plays hard and within the rules of the game, then she is likely displaying instrumental aggression.  On the other hand, if your kid engages in aggression that clearly is designed to hurt another player, it’s likely he is using hostile aggression.  Of course, there are fine lines between these types of aggression, and the distinctions get even more blurred when you factor in the intimidation factor that plays in to many sports (like when a pitcher hits a batter intentionally to gain back the plate, opposed to simply “pitching inside”).  Still, most types of hostile aggression are easy to identify and usually result in penalties and suspensions when they occur.

In all likelihood, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell probably factored in the type of aggression displayed when he made his final decision with the New Orleans Saints.  In his mind, he saw the aggression as purposeful and designed to hurt players (and possibly end careers) — and how that type of aggression steers away from the competitive spirit of football.

Talk to your kids about the different types of aggression in sports, and reinforce instrumental aggression while calling out harmful and unhealthy hostile aggression.

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I am very fortunate that I have had the opportunity to work one-on-one with many amazing athletes during the course of my career, and from those experiences I can emphatically state that in the vast majority of cases the success these athletes accomplished did not happen as a result of casual efforts, but instead due to a lot of hard work, mental toughness, and perseverance.  Similarly, I have also been lucky to teach many college psychology courses over the years, and again, the most successful students I have had in class weren’t “naturally gifted,” but instead the hardest workers in class. Are you starting to see a connection here?

Nature v. Nurture

Often we make the mistake of attributing the success seen in others (athletes, students, etc.) to their natural abilities, and while genetics certainly do contribute to our abilities, it’s actually the work we put in that matters the most. In sports, some athletes do have an advantage over others because of their natural size, speed, or strength — but if they rely exclusively on those gifts and do not put in the work needed to continually improve, it’s very likely they will “max out” early in life and fall short of reaching their full potential.  Conversely, and perhaps more interestingly, athletes who are average in natural abilities – but develop a strong work ethic and mental toughness – often make up for their average physical abilities through their motivation and effort.

Excellence in the classroom is really no different — simply having natural abilities in math, science, or foreign language will only take a person so far without putting in the work needed to continue to excel.  Most students can only “show up” for so long before being awakened to the fact that if you want to acheive excellence, it won’t happen through casual efforts.

We often do not see all the extra time, work, and effort great athletes, students, and business people put into their craft that allows them to become the best.  Instead, we tend to overlook or ignore all of these efforts, and falsely assume these people had God-given natural abilities that lead to their success.

The Value of a Strong Work Ethic

In my direct experience working with many outstanding athletes, as well as  everyday people, the common denominator to their success has always been a strong work ethic. These are the people who are first to practice and the last to leave — and they are the most resilient when it comes to dealing with stress, frustration, adversity, and failure.  They really don’t have as many natural advantages over the competition as you might think.  Instead, they simply want it more.

Yes, it really is the “blood, sweat, and tears” that is at the core of champions, or everyday people who seem to excel at whatever it is they do.  The reality is there is no substitute for hard work, and our natural abilities can compensate for causal work efforts for only so long.  The good news, however, is that a strong work ethic will not only level the playing field, but it can actually lead to even greater success when compared to the individual with the natural talent but a minimal work ethic. 

Find passion and purpose in what you do, and develop a conviction toward your future success.  If you do, you will be amazed at how quickly things change for the better in your life, and how these positive changes will be a result of the efforts you put into your craft.

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While it is true that a small percentage of parents today view the youth sports experience as a training grounds for a future college athletic scholarship (and possibly a professional sport opportunity), most parents are more grounded with their thinking and set more realistic goals for their kids (The Parents Playbook).  For these parents, the ultimate goal is to simply have a positive experience with youth sports, one that will help their children grow in healthy physical and emotional ways.  If a college scholarship is eventually awarded to their child, it’s viewed as a “bonus,” and not the final destination after years of competing in youth sports.  This, of course, is a very healthy way to approach the youth sport experience, and one that offers the best chance for the child to learn important life lessons as a result.

In order for a family to fully experience all the potential benefits that youth sports provide, I am providing a short list of important learning points to focus on throughout your child’s athletic career so that she will not only play to her highest potential on the field, but also use the sport experience to maximize her overall human development as well:

• Process Goals – Most parents encourage their child to play hard enough to one day become the best kid on the team (or league).  There’s nothing wrong with this encouragement, of course, but keep in mind that all outcome goals (like becoming an All Star or team MVP) always begin with process goals. When thinking about process goals, keep in mind these are the types of goals that are fully under the control of the athlete (like maintaining a strength training program, running, mastering plays, etc.).  Outcome goals are not completely under the control of the athlete, especially if the goal is to win an award thats voted on by the coaching staff or league.
• Focus - Parents can help their children with focus at very young ages by teaching the basics — like learning how to pay attention to relevant cues (i.e. the next pitch) while ignoring irrelevant cues (i.e. the people in the crowd).  The skill of focus is an important one, and can also be transferred to many other areas in life — including the classroom.
• Resiliency – The old saying of “It’s not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up” may be one of the greatest lessons that can be learned through sports.  Resiliency, or mental toughness, is a terrific skill to help your child master as there are countless sport experiences that involve stress, frustration, adversity, and losing.   Resiliency also helps with motivation — another great life success skill!
• Humility – Winning with grace and keeping the ego in check are skills parents can teach their kids through various successful sport experiences.  Humiliating, taunting, and embarrassing opponents are never good things – on or off the field.
• Sportsmanship – Similarly to winning with grace, kids can also learn to be good sports during those tough times as well – like after a humiliating loss, or after experiencing a blown call by a referee.  Sports, like life, aren’t always “fair,” but what’s most important is to respect the rules and opponent at all times – even when spirits are down.

Sport psychology studies have revealed countless life lessons that can be learned through youth sports, but the five skills presented here are at the top of my list.  Conduct your own family audit and see how your gang stacks up — are you fully capitalizing on the youth sport experience, or missing out on some of the big take-aways for your son or daughter?

If you want to help your child get the most out of his or her sport experience but feel you could use some help in accomplishing this task, check out Sport Success 360 and begin setting your family sports goals today!

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Having had the great fortune of teaching, counseling, and mentoring literally thousands of athletes in my career, one of the toughest things for me to watch is when an athletic career ends and the athlete (now former athlete) overlooks or disregards the importance of parlaying the athletic experience into new life endeavors and success.  More simply, while some athletes use the athletic experience for future life success, far too many others compartmentalize the athletic experience and ultimately do not use it to get ahead in life (AHPS).

There are a few truths that every athlete should think about:

1. Every athletic career will eventually end

2. During this transition the athlete will need to decide how much he or she will cull from his or her previous athletic experiences and apply to future life experiences (including career)

3. Athletic transferable skills, or the skills learned in sports that can be transferred throughout life, are there for every athlete to use and help with future life success

Unfortunately, and likely because the sport retirement transition is often abrupt and unpleasant, the majority of former athletes miss out on the real value of sport participation — that is, to learn invaluable life skills that will help across every life domain, including interpersonal relationships, academics, and career.  In other words, sports can serve as a vehicle for future success, rather than an experience that ends when the athlete has played his or her final game.

The point is to remind you to help remind your kids or the kids you coach that the sport experience is actually a “first step” on the road of life, and one that can help trampoline kids into really great future life success!  In order for kids to learn this, we must be overt and direct with our teachings and praise, and help kids actively learn the many sport-life connections.

When young people realize that they already have many tools in their possession that will help them in the big picture of life (i.e. athletic transferable skills like motivation, resiliency, focus, developing mental toughness under pressure, and working successfully with teammates), only then will their sport retirement transition become a facilitating step in their life, as opposed to a debilitating one.

You can learn more about the sport retirement transition, as well as how to use athletic transferable skills by checking out Sport Success 360, or The Parents Playbook!

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The Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM), published by the American Psychological Association, is widely accepted as the bible for mental health descriptions and conditions.  The book has been updated several times over the years, and is slated for it’s next update in 2013.  If you have never seen the DSM before (and it’s likely you haven’t), you might be surprised at the depth and breadth of the number of “disorders” presented, and if you look close enough you might even find that you fit the criteria of one of them.  In fact, critics have argued that the DSM has become too liberal with identifying “new” disorders, as well as loosening the criteria needed to “qualify” for a disorder.

Mental Illness

So, what is mental illness, anyway?  Interestingly, there are many different ways to examine mental illness, and to some extent, what one person might see as “mentally ill” the next person might see as “quirky,” “creative,” or just “different.”  In fact, it is from this perspective that some are wondering if the DSM is becoming so loose in its defining mental illnesses that nearly everyone could be diagnosed with something — leaving conspiracy theorists to surmise that once these “disorders” are labeled, pharmaceutical companies end up being the true winners as the manufacturers of the drugs that psychiatrists recommend their patients use to address their problems.

If you were to develop a continuum of people ranging from those who seem relatively healthy and stable on one side, to those with clear mental problems/limitations (i.e. of harm to oneself or others) on the other, it’s actually all the people in the middle who are the ones that seem to be of the greatest interest to mental health professionals.  Who is “normal” versus “abnormal?”  And who needs to be “put on something” versus who might benefit from just a couple lifestyle changes and possibly therapy?  It is here where the debates rage, and where the DSM (and it’s ever-changing criteria) end up having real consequences for real people.

Having taught clinical psychology at the college level, it has always been an entertaining classroom discussion to hear students ponder over what’s normal, abnormal, quirky, odd, and different — as well as what people should be diagnosed with something, and what people should be put on something.  As the DSM evolves and spells out “disorders” for clinicians, decisions are made that in many cases lead to the prescription of one (or many) medications – some that include serious side effect concerns.  The other problems that often occur when a person is diagnosed with a mental illness are the following:

• Patients often overly-value the benefits of their new medication, and as a result place less emphasis on behavioral changes (after all, only the drug can fix their problems, right?)
• Patients often believe they are permanently “branded” with the mental disorder for the rest of their life (and therefore need to continue on using their medications forever).  Of course, in some cases medications may be needed to protect the patient from danger to himself (or others), but in many other cases positive changes occur in the patient’s life, leaving him less needy of the drug (i.e. he is no longer depressed).

The Impact of the DSM, Treatment Decisions, and Future Consequences

Unfortunately, for potential clients in the United States today seeking therapy they will likely need a DSM mental disorder code in order for their insurer to reimburse.  This is unfortunate for a number of reasons, including the fact that a disorder needs to be “found” – which often leads to an even bigger problem of a self-fulfilling prophecy.  For example, the person seeking assistance after going through a tough divorce may come to believe that she is depressed – and depression lasts for a lifetime – and the only way to control the depression is by taking several different pills each day.  Without a DSM diagnosis, the odds of an insurance company helping out a patient who is simply going through a tough time in life is almost zero.  Sadly, once a patient receives her diagnosis, it often only serves as a really bad lifelong tattoo, re-emerging during times like when the individual applies for future life and/or health insurance (she will now be a “high-risk,” and pay a ton more for her coverage).

Getting back to the original discussion, it’s interesting to see what the new DSM will evolve into in 2013.  If, as critics warn, the diagnoses become even more liberal (you should read some of the criteria to see what I am referring to), more people will soon learn they have “something,” and likely will feel the immediate need to remedy and temper their condition by quickly going on some kind of drug(s).  Skeptics wonder if it will be this new disorder discovery, coupled by the new drugs these patients take, that end up causing the real problems — and not the initial concern for the call to the doctor.  Interesting to think about, isn’t it?

Check out our Life Success Audio programs – designed to help with human happiness, health, and life productivity!

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As 2011 comes to an end and the new year approaches, millions of people worldwide are giving thought to what resolutions they would like to achieve in the coming year.  For many, the goals will be fairly common ones, such as losing weight, quitting smoking, or getting back in shape.  For others, the goals may be more unique and include ideas around becoming a better spouse, or earning a promotion at work.  Regardless of what resolutions you set for 2012, the bigger challenge that looms for all goal setters is adhering to the goals (also known as goal compliance).  In other words, developing mental toughness and actually doing what you want to do.

Throughout my life I have always appreciated little tidbits of motivational advice – one that I think about almost on a daily basis is the following:

“Ideas are a dime a dozen, but putting ideas into action is priceless”

It is from this perspective that I have studied others (and myself) as to why the “action” step to reaching the goals stated always seems to be the challenge.  So often we start out with great intentions, but then something happens – and we fall short of reaching our goals.  Over the years I have written extensively about what I have learned, and have even developed various life success programs to help others with their efforts.  Admittedly, answering all the reasons why people sometimes fail to reach their goals in just a few paragraphs here is impossible, but there are a few quick key tips that I think can immediately help those out there who are eager to reach their 2012 new year resolutions:

• Life changes – especially ones you are serious about – don’t need a target date to get started (meaning you don’t need to wait until January 1st).  Change can actually begin in a moments notice - and often does – so if you are really, really serious about your new goals, you are free to get started!
• When hurdles arise (and they will, like when a family member brings home junk food and you are trying to lose weight), the key is to train your mind to view these situations as challenges, not as threats. How you perceive the world around you will determine the actions that you take — roll your sleeves up for the challenge.  It’s also a good idea to think about the challenges that are ahead of you, an effective technique therapists call stress inoculation.
• Be realistic. Research studies have consistently found that when people set goals that are too difficult or unrealistic, they often become demotivated and eventually quit.  Instead, set challenging goals that you really believe you can achieve.
• Pay attention to daily, or micro-goals. Don’t overlook the little things as they will serve as strong building blocks for the months ahead.
• Go after your resolutions with conviction! Get excited and share your enthusiasm with others – not only will they cheer your efforts but also give you support during the tough times.

For more professional tips and advice on changing habits and developing balance and resiliency in life, check out the Advanced Human Performance Systems Life Success Package!

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One of the most challenging duties a coach is faced with is keeping his team upbeat, positive, motivated, and optimistic after losing a game (or enduring a losing streak).  Coaching is a lot easier when the team is winning, but what about the times where the team is dejected, frustrated, and with little confidence for the future (Sport Success 360)?  It is in these moments that the overall success of a coach is often measured.

I have always liked the saying “forewarned is forearmed,” with the implication that if we have a good idea of what is ahead we can responsibly prepare for the experience.  In sports, it is inevitable that you will lose, so it is important for coaches to think ahead about the strategies that might be considered when dealing with dejected players who seem to have lost their hope and confidence for future team success.  By spending a few minutes thinking ahead of time how to handle these types of situations, the likelihood for a faster bounce-back increases dramatically – as does the team’s resiliency and chances for future success.

As with most things in life, the way a coach handles defeat with his team is about as unique as each coach and his players.  Still, there are a few important aspects of team dynamics as they relate to future team success that are worth considering, including the following:

• After a loss one of the most important things a coach can do is to emphasize effort (assuming the team didn’t quit).  By positively reinforcing effort, you will essentially be shaping future behaviors that, in all likelihood, will lead to future success.
• Re-frame the experience. It goes without saying that losing is never fun, but often when we lose in life we tend to make the experience more catastrophic than is necessary (or accurate).  Losing a big game can be deflating, but is it the end of the world?  Are there experiences to build on, or ways to use the experience to come back stronger later in the season?  If it is an early-season loss, how can you keep it in perspective so that the rest of the season isn’t lost?
• Even in losses, there are always important points to build on for the future. What did the team do right?  Were there specific plays that went well, or periods in the game where you were more competitive?  Great coaches find those moments and use them to build positive future scaffolding to use to improve the team as the season wears on over time.
• Teach the team to develop a short memory for losing. Great athletes have incredibly short memories, and instead channel their focus and motivation toward the next practice, training session, or game.  This is not something they are “born with,” but instead a skill they have developed over time that has allowed them to learn from their previous frustrations, adversities, and failures.
• Ask the team for their input. Authoritarian coaches out there may not like to hear this, but when people (in this case, the team) are solicited and encouraged to share their thoughts and perspectives in a democratic-type manner, they often begin to take even more ownership of their experience (and play harder as a result).  This perceived “loss of power” does not imply that the coach should sit back and allow the team to take over in the film room or when looking at ways for improving in the future, but instead suggests that coaches find a delicate balance between their own instruction and soliciting input from the team.  How could we have done that better?  What play might have been more effective in that situation?  Ask the team and listen closely – you might be surprised at what you learn!

To learn more about effective strategies for coaching kids, check out our popular audio Peak Performance for Youth Sport Coaches

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As the end of 2011 nears we have witnessed some of the worst college sports stories heard in recent years – from the Penn State and Syracuse sex scandals to the less horrific, yet still terribly unfortunate, stories that unfolded at Miami, Ohio State, and other colleges.  In all of these examples, crimes to some degree were committed (from child molestation to breaking NCAA rules and/or laws), and in each case the universities responded in their own unique ways to the allegations.  Of course, looking back now is like playing “Monday morning quarterback,” but it’s still worthwhile to do so if we want to handle future troubling issues in better and more effective ways (AHPS).

It appears that in most cases the immediate response by these universities has been to either deny, spin, or deflect.  Of course, that’s understandable – especially when taking into consideration the tremendous value of some of these “brands.”  It goes without saying that negative public image can (and often does) correlate with many important factors, including alumni gifts, future student enrollment, and apparel sales (to name a few).  On the other hand, the denial response – while having great potential upside – also brings with it the increased risk for the drip-drip-drip negative and scandalous review by the NCAA, the media, and fans.  Of course, none of this is unique to athletics, as we have seen politicians and others take the same “nothing to look at here” approach to allegations that have later been proven true.

The short-term gain in deflecting stories and/or getting rid of a sacrificial lamb may appear to work, but in the end more often than not the foundational problems still remain (i.e. the casual athletic culture).  So while the “nothing to see here” response may seem attractive at first, it actually behooves college administrators to take a more in-depth and measured view of the totality of the problem and overall tone of the athletic department culture.  Yes, this is certainly a more riskier PR move than telling people everything is fine, but this approach is more responsible and far better in the long-term (especially in these days of data left behind in email and text messages, sure to be exposed by somebody eventually).

Human beings make mistakes regularly — we have all said or done things we wish we could take back or do differently if given another chance. My article here today is not about being perfect, nor is it designed to come off as some righteous way of living.  No, my goal is to simply remind people who run colleges about the importance of damage control – especially as it applies to handling tough situations respectfully, professionally, and thoroughly

If any college adminstrators are listening, here are a few tips to consider:

• When a negative story breaks, the first move should not be anything that sounds like “nothing to see here.”  Of course, this does not mean to immediately assume all guilt, either.  The best and most responsible answer is to simply state the issues are being taken very serious and that a university response will be forthcoming.
• Check out the allegations and see if they are true.  If you learn rules/laws have been broken, take some time to look through the eyes of the victim, or if it is an institutional charge that impacts competitive fairness, try to see how the problems at your school could impact the overall interest and success of the game.
• Admit when you are wrong.  Yes, this is very difficult for people to do, but when people take ownership of a problem and a sincere apology given, most people are very quick to forgive and forget.
• Take appropriate measures to correct/fix the problem – which may include removing people with big names and reputations.  Again, this may not be easy to do, but in some cases it is warranted in order to truly remedy a situation.
• Go above and beyond to help the victims, or to make right whatever systemic problems that may have negatively impacted others.  Show that you are serious, and not just sorry that you got caught.
• Think about the overall welfare of your institution, not just the athletic department.  While sports are certainly a big part of the overall college experience for most students, it will be the perceived value of their degrees that help them the most in the future — not the wins and losses of the football team.

Damage control is not the most favorite or easiest part of a college administrator’s job, but it is becoming an extremely important part of it.  In this day and age of electronic messages and pictures, empirical data seems to be around every corner when it comes to covering up or denying rule and law breaking.  It is for these reasons, along with it simply being the right thing to do, that college administrators work diligently to do a better job of responding to crises in the future than some have done in 2011.

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