Archive for November, 2011

The PSU and Syracuse Tragedies Have Shed Light on The Need to Address the Dark Problems in Sports

Sadly, in just the last month we have witnessed horrible child sex crimes surface at Penn State and Syracuse, finally directing much needed national attention toward a growing problem in our country today.  Yes, as much as we would like to not admit it, there are thousands of kids each year who compete in sports and fall prey to adult pedophiles who take advantage of the trust and rapport built through the coach-student athlete relationship.  While most of these cases go unreported by the victims (usually due to guilt, shame, and embarrassment), there are still more than enough stories out there that can be read about by doing a Google search.  I can also report that in my role as a clinician, I have witnessed firsthand the number of these cases emerge – prompting me to work with various state and national leaders in sports to help change laws and training requirements.

At Penn State, many staff and college personnel have lost their jobs, with more expected to go in the months ahead as Jerry Sandusky goes to court.  At Syracuse, Bernie Fine has been dismissed, and head coach Jim Boeheim may not be far behind after he blasted the victims and accused them of looking to capitalize financially, rather than stop for a moment to think they might really have been raped by his good friend and colleague.  Boeheim might be a great basketball coach, but he failed terribly in showing zero compassion and sympathy for the victims of Bernie Fine.

Even ESPN, the self-proclaimed “worldwide leader in sports,” is also feeling the heat today after reportedly sitting on potential evidence pertaining to the Syracuse sex scandal and not doing anything about it for eight years. Today, ESPN responded to the charges they face from the public for sitting idle. Regardless of the thin veil ESPN has in defending their actions because they are “journalists,” it does make you wonder how anyone could sit on this kind of information from a moral sense. If you heard a tape that included comments like Larry Fine’s wife’s did, wouldn’t you report it to the police??

When any of us come into information about a child sex crime we all need to report and support! In other words, we need to report the crime to authorities and support the victim for the courage it takes to talk about the crimes that were alleged to have occurred. Of course, this may not be easy to do — especially if you know the alleged perpetrator, but it is the right thing to do. Trust me, as a clinician I can tell you that child sex abuse is as scarring and damaging as anything a young person can ever experience, and it is for this reason that we all must do a better job in protecting kids from pedophiles.

Why these problems in sports are important to address

While we have made great strides in training youth and interscholastic coaches over the years, one area we still fall terribly behind in pertains to training coaches about appropriate boundaries.  Ironically, we have made tremendous progress teaching coaches about about nutrition, injury management, and concussions, but yet we still haven’t made the progress we need to when it comes to properly training youth and interscholastic coaches about appropriate, healthy, and safe boundaries.  The coach-athlete relationship is arguably the most dangerous relationship as it applies to sex abuse for a number of reasons:

  • Most parents unconditionally trust coaches to be responsible with their kids.  Sadly, some pedophiles know this quite well, and as a result take advantage of how easily it is to become a coach today.  Of course, most coaches do a great job of working with kids and would never think of harming a child, but it is never advised to blindly trust anyone with your kids.
  • Sports provide many unique places for inappropriate relationships to take place, including locker rooms, hotels, and after hours at schools waiting for parents to pick up kids after practice.
  • The fraternal bonding often found in sports can sometimes go over the line unknowingly, as Jerry Sandusky’s comments about “horsing around in the shower” revealed to us.  Usually by the time a child is sexually molested, it happens as a result of slow and steady trust developed over time, which often includes “normalizing” inappropriate fraternal relationships
  • Teacher-coaches, once comprising of almost all coaching jobs in schools, has now become a memory of the past.  Today’s roughly 75% (or more) of coaches in schools today are non-teacher coaches.  Due to the dearth of teacher-coaches available, increasingly more schools have had to reach out to their local community in order to find adults willing and interested in coaching.  As a result, in some cases, the hiring process happens very quickly out of the school’s desperate need for a coach, and often the newly hired coach does not have a background search completed, nor is he given proper training and mentoring.
  • State and national standards are still lagging, as there are no formal continuing education requirements today that mandate coaches to better understand boundaries with kids, as well as warning signs and appropriate protocols for when a youngster bravely steps forward to report a crime.  This needs to change ASAP!

Last year we developed Sport Success 360 as a tool for schools and youth leagues to use to better prepare coaches with respect to psychosocial training in sports.  Some of the training modules are traditional (i.e. communicating effectively with parents), while others are more contemporary (i.e. dealing with youth sports burnout).  We also developed a module to address inappropriate boundaries, offering coaches, parents, and student athletes keen insights and tips to help prevent, respond, and report issues when they occur. I urge you to learn more about Sport Success 360, and especially the training offered around boundaries, as we can see this issue is certainly one that we can no longer ignore or overlook.

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NEW Life Stress Test App Available for iphone!

Life stress can come in the form of negative events (like losing a job), as well as positive events (like planning for the holidays).  Unfortunately, regardless of the source of the stressor (good or bad), our bodies often react and respond by breaking down physically and emotionally — unless we learn how to safely and effectively cope with stress.  Fortunately, help is on the way in the form of our exciting new app, The Life Stress Test!

The Life Stress Test (.99 in the Apple apps store) is a professionally designed test you can complete in just a few minutes, and will provide you with specific results and feedback along a number of potentially stressful dimensions, including time management, assertiveness, organization skills, resiliency, and self confidence.  By learning how to recognize and effectively respond to stress, you will learn how to better plan and navigate your life — resulting in a happier, healthier, and more productive life.

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The Syracuse Sex Scandal & Jim Boeheim’s Poor Reaction can be a Teachable Moment

Last week I wrote about how bothered I was with Jim Boeheim’s adamant and unconditional support of assistant coach and friend Larry Fine, immediately protesting the child molestation charges he faces.  Having worked in mental health for almost 20 years, and having been a counselor to countless families involved in child-abuse/molestation cases, this story bothered me terribly from the moment it broke — Jim Boeheim’s actions only made it worse.  Rather then try to understand the situation, Boeheim showed no sympathy and instead attempted to make the accuser look like a greedy fool, all the while claiming undeniable innocence for Larry Fine.

Unfortunately, ESPN provided even more evidence that Larry Fine did in fact molest boys, releasing an audio tape yesterday of Fine’s wife acknowledging his problems (and that’s putting it lightly if you heard the tape), as well as a third victim who has also claimed Fine molested him. While still presumed innocent (like Jerry Sandusky), the increasing amount of evidence stacking up against him doesn’t look good.

Fortunately, Jim Boeheim’s comments today are far more sensitive in nature, even if they are late:

“The allegations that have come forth today are disturbing and deeply troubling. I am personally very shocked because I have never witnessed any of the activities that have been alleged. I believe the university took the appropriate step tonight. What is most important is that this matter be fully investigated and that anyone with information be supported to come forward so that the truth can be found. I deeply regret any statements I made that might have inhibited that from occurring or been insensitive to victims of abuse.”

Where Boeheim still falls short

While I appreciate Boeheim’s more caring remarks, I still have concerns with some of what he said.  We can all learn from both, and use the knowledge to be better equipped to help kids who suffer from sexual abuse.

Boeheim claimed he “never witnessed any of the activities.”  Unfortunately, just because we do not see something with our own eyes doesn’t mean it didn’t happen (of course, it doesn’t mean it happened, either).  The important point is to distinguish the difference between actually seeing something and being open to the fact that some things in life really do happen – even if we don’t see it firsthand. Boeheim’s initial comments asserting there was no way the crimes happened were very different than simply stating “I don’t know.” Rather than being open, he was defensive.  Think for a moment how you might feel if a legendary coach like Boeheim denied your claims of being sexually abused?  If you are a parent, how might you feel if your child were abused, and the coach immediately struck out against your child as a money-seeking troublemaker?

Coincidentally, another legendary coach, Dick Vitale, didn’t make things any better with his absent-minded tweet on Monday, stating:  “Based on what he was told he was reacting on info he had – now he knows better.”  This is unacceptable, and Dick is smart enough to know better.  Enough with the enabling – Dick would never be this causal if it were his kid who made these kinds of claims about an adult sexually abusing him.

A teachable moment

Fortunately we can learn from all of this – and thereby protect kids more effectively – by simply being open-minded when these kinds of terrible charges are alleged.  To assume the victim is lying is betting against the odds, as it is well established in mental health communities that when victims of sexual crimes speak out, they are almost always being truthful to at least some, if not all, of what they report.  Note that by taking this position you are not accusing the suspect, but instead balancing your personal relationship against the safety of a child (who could be yours).

When we come into rumors and stories about children being abused, we are often put into very uncomfortable positions about how to react and respond.  In some cases we might know the accused person very well, while in other cases we might simply find the claims impossible to be true (often because we don’t want the story to be true).  Unfortunately, there are too many cases of these crimes in our country today for us to be delayed in our actions because of these reasons.

Most victims of sexual abuse do not speak up, but that doesn’t mean these problems do not exist.  Often the victims do not report the crimes because of their own confusion, shame, and embarrassment, while also realizing that their charges may lead to the abuser losing his job, his family, and possibly even face prison time.  It is for both the personal issues the victim experiences coupled with the likely consequences that will occur for the abuser if the victim speaks that often lead to years of silence.

Sex abuse in sports

Kids involved in sports may be the most at-risk for sexual abuse by a coach.  Just how many kids are sexually abused by coaches each year is impossible to gauge, as most stories go unreported.  Still, a simple Google search reveals more stories than we would like to ever imagine, providing ample proof of a growing problem in the United States today.

Young athletes may be vulnerable for a couple reasons.  First, the fraternal bonding that often occurs in sports can sometimes blur lines between appropriate and inappropriate relationships.  Jerry Sandusky made many comments about “horsing around” that were perceived as way over the line to most people who heard his interview with Bob Costas, providing a case study to support this hypothesis.

A second potential issue may be locker rooms, a unique place for sports where some sexual crimes take place.  Unlike other child experiences that are not physical in nature (i.e. band, art, theater, etc.), locker rooms expose kids physically.

A third issue may be how some kids, especially those from troubled backgrounds, innocently bond with coaches acting as mentors who may in fact be pedophiles. While it is disturbing to think of, some men who coach (or serve in other mentoring capacities) do prey on the close bonding they can establish by providing care (and sometimes gifts) as a means of leading to a future sexual assault.

Quick tips to protect kids

If a child speaks to you about being sexually abused, try to do the following:

  • Don’t judge, but instead listen.  While the accused person may be a friend (or even family member), it is important that you listen to the victim before immediately racing to judgement and/or protecting someone simply because you like the person.
  • Accept the victim, and for the time being assume what he is saying is in fact true.  You can always change your mind later if the story proves to be false, but as was mentioned earlier in the article, in most cases of these types of reports the kids have been found to be truthful.  It is also important to immediately report what you have learned to the police.
  • Support the victim and praise the child for being strong enough to speak out.  Not only will this attitude help the process, but it will be encouraging for the child to know that his actions may very well be the reason why kids in the future will not be victimized by the perpetrator.

Kids who are victimized in sexual crimes almost always end up battling a lifetime of healing from the trauma they experienced.  Of course, eliminating all sex abuse crimes may not be possible, but we can certainly reduce these cases by not doing what Jim Boeheim did.

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Jim Boeheim’s Comments were Irresponsible in the Syracuse Molestation Scandal

I’m not so sure I understand Syracuse head basketball coach Jim Boeheim’s adamant defense of assistant coach Bernie Fine and the charges of sexual molestation that he currently faces.  Of course, in the United States we are presumed innocent until proven guilty, and that same standard should be used when we evaluate the growing number of allegations against Bernie Fine.  At the same time, and especially in the aftermath of the infamous Penn State/Jerry Sandusky horrific story, it’s appalling to see Boeheim come out as confident as he has in his unconditional support of Fine.

First, Boeheim cannot speak with certainty about Bernie Fine’s every human movement over the last twenty years – that’s the obvious. “How does he know what happened at Bernie’s house at night?” Bobby Davis, the alleged victim said on ESPN.

Secondly, how can any of us be certain of anything after learning about the PSU scandal and all the trust Jerry Sandusky had built within the PSU family?  That alone prompted a different, more measured response from Boeheim than the unconditional and adamant defense we received.

The better, more responsible response from Boeheim would have been to first recognize and respect the alleged victim’s assertions (which may end up being true), and then speak only to what he knows of Fine as a person.  When faced with a direct question about whether Fine did or didn’t molest boys, the only fair and honest answer is I don’t know. He can certainly still be supportive of Fine, but it is only right to acknowledge that there may truly be a victim of the crimes that were alleged.

What Boeheim needs to be reminded of is that no matter how well we “know” somebody, we really never know all of their thinking and behaviors done outside of our immediate company.  Of course, this comment is not meant to incite mass paranoia – far from it – but it does suggest that when someone makes accusations of this nature, we should qualify the allegation by being responsible, objective, and supportive toward the process of justice, and more importantly, human rights.

Where Boeheim falls short in his thinking while defending Fine are the following two points:

1.) Victims of horrific crimes like sexual molestation need to be recognized, respected, and helped. Boeheim has instead created a tone of this whole story being a plot-for-money scheme.  That leads me to my second point…

2) While it is true that some people have falsely created stories of molestation when in fact nothing ever happened, this is the exception, and not the rule.  In fact, there are significantly more people in our country today who have lived in silence, scarred and too hurt and embarrassed to ever come out with their story for fear of even more embarrassment and humiliation – not to mention potential retaliation by the perpetrator. The truth is few people speak out about sexual abuse, so when they do find the courage to they should be taken very seriously.

“I just don’t want it to happen anymore,” Davis told ESPN, breaking down in tears. “A guy that hurt me a lot … he’s hurting people still. I just want him to get help. I want him to stop.”

Personally, I was deeply troubled to hear Boeheim immediately dismiss Bobby Davis’ claims of being molested by Fine.  With Boeheim being a man of great admiration in the basketball community, one cannot help but wonder how many sports fans — and possible future jurors — will be falsely persuaded about Bernie Fine before the case is ever heard.  Jim Boeheim’s comments were biased, short-sighted, and will likely persuade people to pass negative judgement on Bobby Davis as a money-hungry fame seeker. If Bobby Davis is lying that may not matter, but what if Davis is telling the truth?

Obviously Boeheim wants to protect his colleague and friend, just the same as any of us would if it were a friend of ours in question.  The problem, however, is that he is not protecting Fine from just some fan criticism about his play calling, but instead much more serious charges.  In fact, with Boeheim supporting Fine as strongly as he has, one could even make the argument that he is not only a potential enabler, but also an accomplice in the crime by purposely directly folks away from scrutinizing Bernie Fine’s character more closely.

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Aaron Rogers Calls Out “Shock Experts” like Skip Bayless of ESPN

Last week Aaron Rogers, star quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, did something many sports fans would like to do.  More specifically, he called out the absurdity of sports “experts” who build their career doing nothing more than finding extreme and shocking ways to build their audience and increase their ratings.  Rogers specifically called out one of the more polarizing ESPN talking heads, Skip Bayless, claiming that his comments are purposely outlandish, specifically designed to get people to tune in to the program.

Today’s sports media landscape could easily consume several chapters in an introduction to sport psychology textbook, as there seemingly as many experts and television/radio shows as there are athletes and sports teams.  In addition to the growing number of sports programs for fans to check out, there’s also a behind-the-scenes battle amongst these experts to drive ratings.  It is at this sad juncture where Aaron Roger’s calling out of Skip Bayless makes perfect sense (and was long overdue).

Why all the negativity, anyway?

The media business is dependent on ratings in order to attract sponsorship for advertising.  So how do you increase ratings?  One way is to be as extreme, controversial, and argumentative as possible.  The more obnoxious the better it seems, as sports fans seem to pay more attention to sports entertainers like Bayless, Jim Rome, Stephen A. Smith, and the Sports Reporters crew than they do the propeller head analysts with far less flare (John Clayton anyone?).

Aaron Rogers said what a lot of people would like to say if they only had the voice, even if he made his comments in a rather subtle way.  Rather than come out and call Bayless a jerk (interestingly, he didn’t even name Bayless), Rogers merely pointed out the absurdity of how desperate Bayless (and ESPN as a network) is to drive ratings, so much so that it only pays today to find the silliest, strangest, or most controversial angle to every story.  One can presume from Rogers’ comments that he would prefer less flash and flare from guys like Bayless, and instead more substance focused on the stories.  Unfortunately, that approach doesn’t seem to attract as many viewers in the minds of the folks in the think tank at ESPN.

More problems – or just more people reporting the problems?

Rogers comments may also serendipitously shed light on an even bigger question in sports today: Are there really more bad stories in sports today than in the old days?  Prior to the ESPN generation of 24/7 sports, there were not media outlets to pounce on every transgression, ethical violation, and police arrest as there is today.  Is it me, or does it seem as though the folks at ESPN sit around the police scanner anxiously awaiting the next athlete to do something dumb, wrong, or illegal so that they can jump all over it from the early morning (Mike & Mike show) through mid-morning (First and Ten) to later in the afternoon when LeBatard hands off to Rome who hands off the Around the Horn, wrapping up with PTI which then segues into ESPN SportsCenter.

As ESPN continues to fan the fire with their strongly opinionated experts, many of the stories they report seem to grow legs of their own, and in some cases become even bigger stories simply because of the increased media attention and absurd histrionics played up by the reporters who talk (scream?) about the stories.

Good for you, Aaron Rogers, for calling out the silliness of what some ESPN experts will do in order to attract viewers and corporate sponsorships (and at the same time make themselves relevant enough to remain on TV).  Some fans have already grown tired of the played up theatrics from guys like Bayless, and it’s likely more fans will feel this way in the future as they try to keep up with sports stories while having to endure through the outlandish folks reporting the stories.

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The Impact of a Coach on Successful Teams

In sports, to what extent does the coach have an impact on the team’s success (or lack thereof)?  Can a really good coach take a team full of average players and turn them into a championship-caliber team?  On the other hand, can a bad coach ruin the chances for a team that is comprised of many talented individual athletes?  Sport psychologists enjoy studying these types of questions, as they center around how well coaches teach X’s and O’s and develop mental toughness in their players (Sport Success 360).

This year, Bill Belichick is under the microscope as it applies to the relative importance of a coach on a team’s level of success.  The New England Patriots are playing as an average to slightly above-average team, and being written off as a serious Super Bowl contender by most experts.  Even though the Patriots are currently 6-3, most football fans agree that they are not even close to any of the previous Patriots teams we have seen over the past ten years.  Previously viewed as a God, Belichick has received more criticism this year as he attempts to win with one of the league’s worst defenses and an overall aging NFL team.  Can Belicheick “work his magic” again, or has Belichick been the recipient of unwarranted praise in the past for merely guiding along teams full of All-Pro and future Hall of Fame players?

Andy Reid, Head Coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, is another interesting story.  The Eagles loaded up in the off-season with high profile player acquisitions, yet after calling themselves the “Dream Team” they have become anything but a dream.  Is this all on Reid’s shoulders?  This is an interesting case as it’s not a question of talent it appears, but more one around leadership and getting the most out of the team’s abilities.

In the NBA, Phil Jackson has been revered for his 10 NBA championships, and while many of those winning seasons may have been due to Jackson’s leadership, one could certainly make the argument that having Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Shaquille O’Neal on his teams certainly didn’t hurt.  In reality, it’s hard to gauge the true effectiveness of Jackson as he has never had to coach a team that didn’t have at least one future Hall of Fame player!  Would Jackson have been as successful coaching other, less star-studded teams?

Professional sports are not the only places where these discussions take place, as there are tens of thousands of youth and interscholastic coaches that can also be examined as it applies to their overall impact on team success.  In these examples, should we assume traditional powerhouse teams are good because of the coach, or is the success due to other factors, including caliber of athletes on the team, school/community support, funding, or any other variable that might impact success?

Even when you look at coaches, there are countless “types” of coaches to consider – are yellers/screamers the most effective?  How about those with a more democratic style?  Are perfectionists the best type of coach?  What about “old school” coaches?  Is there a best “type” of coach??

Do coaches receive too much praise when teams win, and too much blame when teams lose?  Some people feel this way.  Another comment I regularly hear, even from coaches who are generally successful coaches, is that you “gotta have the horses” (implying that good athletes are the biggest variable toward team success).  Perhaps “having the horses” is the starting point, but having a great coach able to develop the talent is the key.

Our sport performance app line is now up to TEN SPORTS!  Get your copy today – check all of them out here!

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Additional Thoughts on the Penn State Athletic Department Sex Scandal

As we regain our perspective on the horrendous sexual crimes that were alleged to have occurred at Penn State regarding Jerry Sandusky and countless young boys, many people are just as confused at how many Penn State athletic department personnel seemingly kept the stories from surfacing as much as they are in Sandusky committing the crimes in the first place.  I have had a number of incredibly provocative conversations in the past week about this tragedy, with most of the dialogue centering around how the people who knew about kids being sexually abused could have possibly kept their mouths shut and not reported it immediately to the police.  It is from this position of curiosity that I attempt to offer a few thoughts on why this negligence may have occurred — reasons that go much deeper than the immediate surface level that clearly speaks to the importance of immediately reporting allegations of sexual crimes, especially when it includes innocent children.

Again, I would like to be very clear with something before I delve into the psychological variables that were likely at play and prevented people from speaking up when they came into news about Jerry Sandusky sexually abusing children — what Sandusky did was clearly wrong, and about as horrible a crime that could ever be committed. It was also very wrong for anyone – be it a coach, administrator, janitor, or anyone else to have not acted and called the police when they first learned of these crimes.  I say this as I want to be as straightforward as I can be about where I stand morally as my views pertain to this situation.  In fact, I cannot think of a single reason to not immediately protect innocent children – this case is a no-brainer when it comes to doing the “right” thing.  Still, it appears many people did not do the right thing – and that’s where I would like to pick up today.

Assuming these crimes did occur (and there is a mountain of allegations and pending evidence suggesting the charges are indeed true), the big question seems to be around how so many people who supposedly knew of Sandusky’s crimes (either directly through personal observation or indirectly through reliable source information) could have remained silent and not reported Sandusky to the police?  It does appear from news reports that a minimal level of legal responsibility occurred in the graduate assistant telling Coach Paterno, and Paterno supposedly reporting the news to his superiors.  Still, there were no calls to the police and worse yet, no follow up on the rape victim?  How could this have ever happened?

There are really only a few possibilities, actually.

1.) Everyone at Penn State was “in on it” and participated in some sort of underground sex ring operation. This premise, while clearly outlandish, would assert that not only did people cover up these tragedies, but that they also willing facilitated and/or participated in the crimes. So far the only perpetrator mentioned has been Sandusky, so we can assume (for now) that no other PSU employee was a part of these crimes through direct involvement.

2.) All the PSU athletic staff is comprised of “bad” people who are heartless and indifferent about the well-being of kids. Again, this assumption is quite shallow and an incredible stretch.  Even if you believe some people in this world are inherently “bad” people, the likelihood of an entire staff to be seemingly this aloof probably speaks to other interpersonal dynamics at play more than it does the moral code of all the individuals supposedly “in the know” about what happened (in other words, I can’t see anyone on the PSU staff thinking for even a minute that this stuff was “OK”).  The verdict?  It’s very unlikely PSU is comprised of terrible, kid-hating employees.

3.) The group dynamics at-play dramatically impacted the perception and action (or lack thereof) following reports of these crimes. Group dynamics refer to the study of groups, and how individuals sometimes change their thinking and behaviors as a result of the group’s norms, roles, desire to belong and be accepted, and social influence.  More simply, we as people oftentimes act differently when in groups than we do as individuals.  Again, this is not an excuse as much as it is an explanation, as it in no way “clears” or makes the folks at PSU less culpable for not acting.  It does, however, prompt us to widen our perspective and examine some additional factors that may have impacted individual decision making.

Sport psychologists spend a lot of time studying group dynamics, and it behooves them to do so when you consider how many sports today are “team” sports.  Group dynamics include the delicate, tenuous, ever-changing relationships individuals have with one another, all played out on the canvass we commonly refer to as “team culture.”  Group dynamics help us understand and explain, to some extent, why people do things differently in groups than they would if left to their own devices.  These dynamics also typically include power, coercion, and suggestion (direct and indirect).  In groups, there is also commonly a “diffusion of responsibility” that often occurs, whereby individuals in the group simply assume that “somebody else will do it.” If you hated singing as a kid and yet were made to be part of a choir, it’s likely you may have lip-synced during the performances, knowing that others would “pick up the slack” and compensate for your decision to not sing.

Group dynamics are a lot easier to discuss and examine when talking about innocuous subjects, like the choir example above.  Unfortunately, these dynamics also occur in situations as horrible as the current PSU scandal, and yes, even in cases of rape there are countless examples of people over the course of time who had information and simply sat on it – never telling anyone, including police.  This is terrible, morally speaking, but from an understanding perspective it’s important we go deeper in order to better understand (not justify) the situation.

4. Denial – out of sight, out of mind. Again, it may be hard to believe that we as people can sometimes do this, but it’s well accepted amongst mental health professionals that for some horrific crimes (like rape), people can (and do) sometimes completely block the story from their mind.  For the victim this may even help with short-term healing by not having to replay dark memories when trying to regain personal strength.  Sometimes we hear stories that we think are so outlandish that we erroneously believe there was no way they could have occurred — and many would argue the Sandusky story might easily fit within that line of thinking.  The point is that denial is an ego defense, and it is something we all do from time-to-time.  In the PSU case, it’s quite possible that when some of the personnel heard “rumors” about Sandusky that they simply could not get their arms around there being any way in the world the rumors could have been true — after all, to the untrained eye how could a guy running a program for kids ever in a million years sexually abuse kids???

What happened at Penn State was dead wrong, and all the explanations of the psychological variables that may have impacted the situation do not justify or minimize the horrific nature of child sexual abuse.   It is important, however, that we learn more about why nobody seemed to have acted responsibly, as well as the variables that impact group culture that appear to have clearly impacted what happened at Penn State.  When we better understand how terrible things can happen through oversight, negligence, covert pressures, and diffused responsibilities, we can better identify when future problems may be developing and more swiftly and responsibly attend to them.

 

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Re-examining the Emphasis, Importance, and Responsibilities We Have of Coaches Today

As we await Joe Paterno’s final fate at Penn State pertaining to the Jerry Sandusky pedophile case (where Paterno was expected to act more swiftly and comprehensively out of moral obligation, if not legal expectations), many PSU fans (as well as sports fans across America) are experiencing what is known in the psychology world as cognitive dissonance.  What this means is that people often experience distress when attempting reconcile two opposite and competing views (in the case of Paterno, his “good guy” status of running a clean program for 40+ years versus the accusations where he acted passively when provided with the news of Jerry Sandusky raping a child in the PSU locker room shower).  If you are struggling to make sense of all this, and how such a respected and revered figure like Joe Paterno could also be the same guy who did very little to help an innocent child who was raped on campus, then you are experiencing cognitive dissonance.

The Responsibilities of Coaches?

Perhaps the bigger question, though, is the pedestal we have come to place coaches on these days – a position that gives off the impression either indirectly (Joe Paterno simply maintaining a clean record for many years) or directly (Jim Tressel writing books on character and morality) that coaches are somehow “above the fray” and incapable of making bad decisions, cheating, or acting irresponsibly.  Is it time we re-frame the roles and responsibilities of coaches – in other words, simply responsible for building winning teams, and not responsible for morals, character development, leadership, integrity, and all those other wonderful adjectives that have over the years become what we expect from coaches?  Keep in mind aside from youth sports (and even this is questionable), coaches are hired to develop winning athletic teams.  Coaches are not hired to be moral saints — that only comes along as a bonus if the coach can also win games.  We don’t expect superior morals from our accountant, barber, or mailman, so why do we expect our coaches to never make mistakes?  This is not meant to minimize the crimes at PSU, but instead to have us reflect on what pedestal we have put coaches on over the years.

With all the big money being given to coaches these days, and all the commercialization of sports through the mainstream media, it’s easy to see how coaches have transformed into bigger-than-life characters – making their transgressions become even more shocking and alarming.  It’s obvious that Paterno should have done much more than passively mention to his superiors that he heard a concerning story, but if we only knew Paterno as simply a football coach would our reaction today be so shocking (remember, he fulfilled his legal obligation to report to his superiors)?  Of course we would have still wanted him to do more, but many people would have also minimized his exposure and placed his value within the university perhaps differently.  In other words, his lack of action would still be bad, but would it be this bad?  Maybe – but it’s also possible more people would quickly turn their attention away from the football coach and toward college administrators more responsible for the culture and reputation of the university – not to mention the welfare of the victims.

Should Society Re-calibrate the Way Coaches are Perceived?

My purpose in writing this today is not to minimize the value of coaches today, but to perhaps help us recalibrate our views of what coaches should be in the eyes of society.  Coaches teach athletes how to play sports – and really good coaches sometimes go above these expectations and provide life skills, off-field mentoring, and appropriate social modeling.  But these are the exceptions, not the norm.  Similar to how accountants go to work to crunch numbers, or journalists go to work to write stories, some coaches would like to go to work and teach X’s and O’s and not assume the greater responsibilities of teaching and mentoring athletes when those responsibilities should be the responsibility of parents.  Why is it that we expect coaches to be responsible for life skills development, but don’t expect that from college professors, employers, or other adults who are involved with kids?

It’s clear that in the aftermath of the past year, one in which major college coaches including Jim Tressel, Joe Paterno, and Bruce Pearlman have faced harsh criticism from perceived expectations, that maybe it’s time to revisit the role coaches play in the overall success of society.  Should these men and women be expected to be perfect, or should we never have had such lofty expectations of coaches in the first place?  The crimes that occurred at Penn State are horrific, and it goes without saying that anyone/everyone who came into information about child abuse should have acted swiftly and responsibly (including Joe Paterno), but maybe it’s also time for us to re-position coaches, the expectations of coaches, and the magnitude of the responsibilities that have been placed upon coaches.

Perhaps we wouldn’t have as much cognitive dissonance if we viewed coaches as more human and capable of human errors rather than “Gods” simply because they know how to draw up winning plays on a sports field.

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Get Ready as Student Athletes Brace for Winter Sports

Interscholastic sports can be a challenge for kids, especially when you think about the time, effort, and dedication needed to excel in academics and sports – and still have time left over to spend with family and socialize with friends (AHPS).  If that weren’t enough, the upcoming winter sport season can make this juggling act even more difficult for a number of factors, including cold weather, shorter days, and cumbersome travel schedules.  It is for these reasons that families need to prepare now for the upcoming grind of winter sports.

Probably the toughest thing for student athletes when it comes to winter sports are the very short days – for many kids, it’s dark when they go to school, and by the time they leave after practice later that day it’s dark again! For some kids this can be a real struggle, and take a lot of the fun out of competing in their sport. Sport psychologists warn that even if the criteria for seasonal affective disorder is not met, this is still a concern to watch.

It also goes without saying that cold weather and delayed travel due to inclement weather can also take a mental toll on kids, making winter sports that much tougher.  As practices and games get postponed, family schedules and homework are also impacted, making the task of successful multi-tasking paramount for a successful winter sport experience.

Student athletes are often expected to show mental toughness on the field or court, but during the winter months their greatest mental toughness challenges might be staying positive and successfully balancing an atypical and often stressful schedule.  As a parent or coach, do your part today by preparing for the months ahead that can prove to be stressful for kids.  Talk to kids about the importance of communication skills, multi-tasking, effectively dealing with stress, and asking for help when needed.  There is no substitution for preparation, so prepare now for the long and tough winter season just ahead!

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Student Athletes “Tethered” to Social Media, Facebook, and Smart Phones

There is no disputing that it’s a different youth sports landscape today than it was only a few years ago, when in the old days it was a regular sighting to witness kids assembling pick-up games in the backyards and games of H.O.R.S.E. on driveway basketball courts (Sport Success 360).  Today, those distant memories are being replaced by a generation of student athletes constantly “plugged in” electronically to their friends through social media via Facebook, Twitter, IM, email, and all other electronic means of texting communication.  In fact, in increasingly more instances it appears as though today’s kids are literally tethered to their smart phones, seemingly afraid that by not being “plugged in” they will be left out of life’s exciting happenings.  The important question, therefore, pertains to the negative effects kids experience while choosing to be connected 24/7 to their Facebook, while at the same time missing out on real-life academic, social, and athletic opportunities?

I have personally witnessed a change in recent years with the student athletes I counsel at my practice, as it has become a common sighting to witness student athletes regularly looking down into their lap, purse, or gym bag to check their Facebook page while in the middle of counseling sessions.  Interestingly, in the vast majority of these instances the kids don’t bother to look up and acknowledge the momentary disruption in our dialogue, but instead simply carry on as though the device is just a small part of our session. Of course, with each instant message that comes through, the youngster’s attention is divided, and we inevitably have to go back to the previous comments to “find our place” again after the disruption.

Being tethered to virtual communication is exciting for many kids (and a lot of adults), but there are many consequences to consider – especially as they apply to student athletes.

●      It is often perceived as rude. It goes without saying that people don’t like having their face-to-face communication disrupted by a text message or Facebook update, but this is exactly what is happening increasingly more these days.  For student athletes, especially when talking to coaches, AD’s, and possibly future college coaches, this type of behavior sends the message (no pun intended) that the virtual conversation is far more important than anything to be gained in the face-to-face meeting.

●      You miss out on real-life things – like sports! For kids who are constantly connected to their devices, one thing they are not doing is using that time to play pickup games, lift, run, or do anything else that can help them improve in their sport.

●      It fosters dependence, not independence. The perception that people have when watching kids constantly connected to their devices is that they are overly-dependent on their friends, and may not have the confidence and skills needed to make future independent decisions.

●      Security risks for when things “get out.” As we all know virtual communication is anything but safe, as we have all heard the stories of controversial messages and pictures that have gotten out to the public.  For student athletes, this kind of unwanted attention could impact athletic eligibility, as well as future potential athletic scholarships.

●      Multi-tasking and the threats to time management. Lets face it, it takes time to keep up with your virtual friends, return IM, texts, and email, and make regular posts on your wall.  Again, the question becomes what other things suffer because of the huge time commitments needed to “keep up” in the virtual world?  With some kids easily going over 5000 texts in a month (yes, you heard that correctly), is it any wonder when you see grades drop in school?

Being plugged in to social media and electronic communication can be a really fun and exciting life endeavor, but it can also be a very life-draining experience when there is little time left over for real, face-to-face life interactions.  The key is to balance virtual communication with real-life living so that real-life opportunities aren’t missed or overlooked simply because of the responsibilities need to stay “plugged in” to the virtual world.

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